


this is a one time thing & other prompts

by breakingfiction



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: F/M, Tumblr, kinda nsfw, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-07-04 05:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15834732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakingfiction/pseuds/breakingfiction
Summary: A few random prompts from Tumblr. Candy with random pairings. Some of the ones with Castiel and Nathaniel feature my OC, Eris.





	1. CandyxRayan "Put me down!" and "Make me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CandyxRayan "Put me down!" and "Make me."

I let out a yawn, tapping my pencil on the table in front of me impatiently and checking the time on my phone.

It’s getting late, classes have finished for the day. I’ve been in the library, studying for what feels like hours. Waiting for him to hurry up so we can go and do something more exciting than  _this._

I sigh in frustration and tap a message on my phone.

**_Finished yet?_ **

His reply comes only a few seconds later.

**_Not quite._ **

A huff of air escapes me as I glance around the room. It’s almost empty, only a couple of people still hanging around to do some last-minute study.

**_I’m bored. Come and entertain me?_ **

I undo a couple of buttons on my shirt, taking a quick snap of the lacy bra I’m wearing underneath before hitting ‘ _send_ ’.

**_Candy…_ **

I roll my eyes at his reply. I can almost hear the growl in his voice… a subtle warning to stop distracting him when he’s working. So, I return to my textbooks, trying  _anything_  to keep my mind from wandering to the memories of the two of us in bed together this morning… his dark, curly hair between my legs, his mouth lazily licking and kissing that sweet spot until I had gasped and trembled and come undone around him.

Tonight, I intend to return the favor.  _If we ever get away from this damn campus._

I poise my pencil between my fingers, ready to copy down the notes in front of me, though I’m certainly not thinking about Art History anymore. I set my pencil end between my teeth instead, lost in thought.

My professor and I have been spending more and more time together… I guess you could say things are getting serious. Most of my time is spent at his apartment these days, rather then my dorm room. Although my roommate, Yeleen, has no idea where I’ve been spending my time, I think she quite enjoys the space.

And I  _quite enjoy_  my new situation, to be honest… although not currently, maybe. But the thing is, when Rayan and I are around each other, we just can’t seem to keep our hands to ourselves… hence me being banished to the library to study.

_Fuck it._

Eventually, I lose my patience altogether. There’s only so much _imagining_  I can take. Now, I need the real deal.

I gather up my things before exiting the library, heading towards the art building.

When I stroll into the auditorium he’s sitting at his desk, head bent and pen in hand, focused over a pile of papers.

 _“Mr Zaidi,”_  my voice is as smooth as silk, ready to play. He glances up at me for the briefest of moments, his green eyes weary, before returning to his task.

“Best if you head off without me, sweetheart,” his voice echoes through the large room. “I still have a lot to do.”

_I don’t think so._

I don’t say anything, I simply drop my bag at the bottom of the steps before strolling over to make myself comfortable right on the top of his desk. I cross my legs, the picture of perfect innocence, despite the skirt that’s riding up my thighs. I tug it up a little higher, and Rayan raises his dark eyebrows at me.

“Please remove yourself from my desk, Candy.”

_“Make me.”_

His stare is challenging, but I don’t back down. I only uncross my legs, giving him full view of the lace panties, matching the bra I had sent a picture of earlier, and smile at him coyly.

“You’re walking a dangerous line,” He warns, though I can see his lips quirking up at the corners. He really is terrible at this whole stern professor thing.

“Is that so?”

He leans back in his chair, his paperwork forgotten for the moment, and fixes me with that piercing gaze.

“I’ve already graded your paper, but… if you keep acting like this, I might have to fail you altogether.”

_The nerve…_

I bite on my bottom lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. There’s something  _so ridiculously sexy_  about him acting all authorative with me. It triggers a stirring between my legs that has me rubbing my thighs together, desperate for the friction.

“Or maybe I’ll get on my knees and convince you to give me an ‘A’” I tease, urging him on, and I don’t miss the flush that crawls up his face.

“You wouldn’t dare,” His eyes grow dark, and I just can’t help myself. I can feel the warmth coursing up my legs…  _he makes me want him so damn much…_

“Oh really?” I say, sliding off the desk and positioning myself between his legs, leaning forward so my hands are resting just above his knees

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” He warns, but I can see the amusement glinting in his eyes. He’s loving this just as much as I am.

I’ve barely began to slide my hands up his thighs when a low growl tears from his throat. “Right, that’s it.  _You asked for it_.”

In an instant he’s on his feet, and I shriek as his arms circle my waist and he hoists me up over his shoulder, slapping me on the backside for good measure. 

“Put me down!” I giggle, feeling his laughter rumble through me.

_Not so serious now, are you._

“Are you going to behave yourself?” He asks, his hand running dangerously high up my thigh.

“Yes,  _Professor_ ,” I say, breathless, my body growing warm under his touch.

He lets out a snort of laughter in clear disbelief.

“I’ll believe that when I see it, Miss Candy.”

He drops me gently in front of him, and I pull him closer to me by the edges of his jacket.

“Can we leave before I’m tempted to tear your clothes off right here and now,” I sigh, though he gives me an apologetic look, and my heart sinks.

“Just half an hour more, and I’ll be done. Promise.”

My lips curve into a pout, thoroughly unhappy. He gives a small eye roll and lets out a defeated sigh, before grinning and taking my hands in his.

“Fine, you win.  _Again_. Let’s go home.”

I smile in victory as he bends down to kiss me

“Can I ever say no to you?” He says against my lips, and I can’t stop my stupid grin from spreading across my face.

_Obviously not._


	2. CandyxCastiel "Make me." "This is a one time thing" and "Just admit I'm right."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CandyxCastiel "Make me." "This is a one time thing" and "Just admit I'm right."

Saturday night, and I find myself being talked into another of my best friends last-minute plans. I should really be studying, no _I need to be studying_ , but when Rosalya gets her mind set on something, not even the threat of academic failure can stop her.   
  
The party itself is fine, though Alexy has disappeared into some dark corner with his boyfriend and Rosa and her university friends are too busy psycho-analysing each other to remember that I’m not actually in any of their classes.  
  
Parties never really were my thing, anyway. Too loud, too busy. There are  _plenty_  of things I’d rather be doing.   
  
So I’d decided to explore instead. There’s no denying the house is beautiful.  _And big_. All plush, cream carpet and ivory pillars. I can see why Rosa’s pal would rather stay here, then on campus.  
  
I’ve made it to the second level, peeking my head into various rooms, when I spot a familiar red-head at the end of the hallway, pacing towards me.   
  
_So, he_ is _back in town._  
  
“Candy…” He says in greeting as he approaches, though I  try my best to ignore him. Our last meeting had been less then friendly, after his bands performance at the Snake Room. I don’t need a repeat.   
  
“Rosa said you’d be around here somewhere.”  
  
I turn on the spot, heading back in the direction I came from. There is nothing in the world that could make me speak to this man. I would’ve been happy to make my swift exit had the sound of heavy footsteps and a hand on my arm not stopped me.  
  
“So what, you don’t have time for an old friend?” He asks, cocking a dark eyebrow.  
  
“I could say the same to you,” I spit back, mentally slapping myself. He always had a way of baiting me, of coaxing me to play, even when I don’t want to.  
  
But I refuse to fall into it now.   
  
I narrow my eyes at him, though he towers over me considerably. He’s taller then I remember. His hair longer and his jaw sharper. The grey tee he wears fits him in  _all the right places, and I_ … I snap my eyes back to his to avoid them lingering anywhere they shouldn’t.   
  
“I’m sorry about the bar,” He says, not sounding sorry at all. “With all the fans around it’s… it’s a weird feeling.”  
  
I let out a huff of air, pulling my arm away from him, refusing to believe any of the bullshit that comes out of his mouth. “I’m not talking about  _the bar_ , Cas.”  
  
When my ex-boyfriend, Lysander, broke up with me a few years ago, Castiel disappeared too. I get that they were best friends and all, that there were sides to take. But although it would pain me to admit it to him, I actually missed his smart mouth and sly remarks.   
  
It’s true that Castiel and I had never gotten along much. We fought, and swore, and generally got on each others nerves. But at least it was real. It was familiar. Lysander never seemed to mind our bickering. In fact, I think it kind of amused him.   
  
I try to move past him, but he blocks me by shooting an arm against the wall.  
  
“Hey, would you just listen to me for a minute.”   
  
He’s annoyed. I can tell by the way his jaw tightens, how his eyes go hard. Still, I can’t stop myself from pushing his buttons.   
  
_“Make me.”_  
  
“Alright.”  
  
All of a sudden he’s pinning me against the wall, an arm above my head and his face half an inch from mine. He smells like whiskey and musk, and it makes my head spin.  
  
“Do I have your attention now?” He growls, and I sneer at him, thoroughly pissed off by the lack of room to move as his other hand holds me in place by my waist.   
  
“ _What do you want_ , Cas?”   
  
“I want to speak to you. See if you’re okay. I never got to talk with you after everything that happened with Lys.”  
  
I roll my eyes, letting out a bitter laugh and trying to mask how unnerving it is, him being this close. My heart beats against my chest relentlessly, though I will it to settle.   
  
“Why do you care?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I?”  
  
“We were never friends. We only put up with each other for Lysanders sake.”  
  
“That’s a  _goddamn lie_  and you know it.”   
  
His shoulders tighten, his grip on my waist squeezing with the tension, and I can’t stop myself from staring into those stormy eyes. One of us has to break first, and it won’t be me.  
  
It had always been like this, though usually we had Lysander to calm the storm between us.  _But Lysander’s not here anymore._  
  
“What are you doing here.”  
  
It’s not a question that slips past my lips. More like an accusation.   
  
“I came with a friend…” The glint in his eye makes me instantly realise this friend is of the female persuasion. His lips quirk ever so slightly at the way my eyes narrow.   
  
Our gazes are fixed. The air between us so electric it could ignite with a single word.   
  
“Go and bother her then.” I hiss, and he lets out a dark chuckle, his knee pushing between my legs.  _Teasing, taunting, suggesting…_  
  
“I’d rather bother  _you_.”   
  
I’m trapped in place, both by his leg between mine and the feeling that even though he  _pains_  me more the anyone else, I don’t want to leave.   
  
I’m not quite sure what to do when his lips crash against mine, but I let out a surprised sound in the back of my throat. My fight reflexes kick in instantly, making me pull back and send a resounding  _slap_  across his face.   
  
He doesn’t look surprised. In fact, I think he might have been expecting it. His mouth merely quirks at the corner before he kisses me again, and any protests I may have had die on my lips. All sense leaves my head. All air leaves my chest.   
  
_What the hell am I doing? I can’t be kissing Cas like this, but… oh my god… when he touches me there, I just…_  
  
A stuttered breath escapes me as he nips my bottom lip, running his tongue over the same spot a second later before devouring me again, and I melt into him.   
  
His body is hard against mine, one hand behind my neck, the other on the side of my face, and although his lips are leaving my head spinning, I’m well aware of just how many people are at this party, and of who could walk up those stairs whenever they wanted…  
__  
I can’t let Rosa see this, she’d murder me.  
  
I reach for the nearest door handle, jiggling it open and letting Castiel press me through the doorway into the room.  
  
We don’t make it far before he has me pinned against the back of the door, my hands dragging through his scarlet hair as he takes me by the back of the thighs, lifting and pinning me between him and the wall.   
  
It’s only now, with my legs around his waist, that I can feel exactly  _how much_  he wants this. I grind against him, eliciting a low, guttural groan of pleasure, as the heat pools low in my stomach.   
  
“I hope you know… this is a one time thing,” I breathe, his lips moving against my neck in a way that makes me sigh through my words.   
  
“You’ve always had a thing for me.” He growls against my skin, his breath jagged. “Just admit I’m right.”   
  
When his hand moves under my slinky top, running over the curve of my breast, I suck in a sharp lungful of air. “What I’ll admit is you were always an  _arrogant prick_. You still are.”   
  
He rolls his hips against me and I shudder, his voice so low it sends shivers down my spine.   
  
_“You fucking love it.”_  
  
His lips crash against mine again and before I know it, he’s pushing me down on the bed. I know we shouldn’t be doing this.  _It’s so wrong._  Lysander would be devastated if he knew.   
  
_It’s been four years_ , I have to tell myself,  _and he’s the one who pushed me away._    
  
Castiel hovers over me, one knee pushing between my legs to gain access. I don’t stop him, and when he kisses me hard I push up against him harder, needing to feel some kind of friction between my legs. I can’t deny that I’ve thought about this before, wondered what it would be like. He is raging fire where Lysander was always warm earth, and  _I want him to consume me._  
  
A low moan escapes me as his lips move lower, down my neck where he bites and sucks my skin until it’s raw. He isn’t gentle, and  _god_ I don’t want him to be.   
  
When he pulls me up into his lap I can feel his hardness pressing into me, and my core melts for him. My skirt is pushed up so far I might as well not have been wearing it all all. He pushes my top aside and takes my breast in his mouth, his tongue rolling over the sensitive peak, and I lose my mind.  
  
The fierce need for him overcomes me and I’m desperate to feel him. All of a sudden I’m too hot,  _I’m stifling,_  I need his skin on mine. I have to bite down on my lip,  _hard,_  to contain any noise that threatens to escape.   
  
His lips find mine again, and my hand drifts down under his shirt, over the line of hair on his stomach, and down further still.  
  
He catches my wrist in his hand, hard enough to hurt, and grins darkly against my ear, his voice warm on my skin.  
  
“Slow down, sweetheart. You’ll get your chance.”  
  
And then he presses me back against the bed, his hair tickling the skin on my stomach, my hips, and then my thighs before he rips aside my panties and his tongue finds the sweet spot underneath and I  _break._  
  
*  
  
The next day I’m tidying up my corner of the dorm room, humming along to the song on the radio, when my phone buzzes. I pick it up from my bed, glancing over the screen and letting out a low, disbelieving laugh at Castiel’s message.   
  
**_Dinner at Saturn’s tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at 8._**  
  
I fall back onto my covers before tapping a reply.   
  
**_Are you asking me on a date?_**  
  
His reply comes a second later.  
**_  
_**So what if I am?  
  
“What are you smiling at?” Yeleen asks from across the room, her dark eyebrows dipping in curiosity.   
  
“Nothing,” I answer, trying my best to hide the stupid smile that’s broken across my face from my room mate.   
  
_This is a one time thing,_  I think with a stifled laugh.  
  
Yeah, we both knew that wasn’t true. 


	3. CandyxNathaniel "Don't look at me like that."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CandyxNathaniel "Don't look at me like that."

“Nath, I have to go.”

I pull my gloves off my hands and set them on the bench, reaching up to adjust my ponytail, which has fallen loose.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” He asks, unwrapping his hands leisurely and surveying me through golden eyes. His chest is bare, and slick with sweat. I’ve been trying to keep from losing myself in the sight of it all evening, though failed miserably.

“I have a date,” I say finally, running my towel over my neck, my throat, my chest…

Training with Nathaniel always leaves me hot and bothered. In more ways than one.

My body stills when he laughs, pausing in his task to give me an inquisitive look.

“With?”

_“None of your business.”_

He stretches his arms above his head, loosening his muscles, his blonde hair falling into his eyes in that way that leaves me fighting to catch my breath. I try my best to concentrate on putting away the boxing equipment we had been using, rather than gawking at him.

_It’s more of a challenge then I would like to admit._

“That kid from your job, right? What’s his name? Hans?”

“You know perfectly well that it’s Hyun,” I snap, thoroughly annoyed at his indifference.

_I expected him to act differently. To be jealous, maybe… but not this casual._

He makes a sound, a sort of amused grunt, but doesn’t say anymore. I busy myself with cleaning my gloves, feeling his eyes on me, though I try desperately to ignore him.

Hyun had been persistent about asking me out. At first, I was hesitant. He was so unlike any of the other guys I had dated, who had all turned out to be self-obsessed assholes, including one particular red-head who had left my heart broken and my head messed up. Eventually I convinced myself that it might be exactly what I need… someone who’s not like all the others.

So this time, when Hyun asked, I finally said yes.   
  
And I was happy with my answer. Hyun is gentle, and uncomplicated. After my last relationship, the hurricane of emotions and turmoil, I realised what I should be looking for instead. Someone safe. Someone sweet. And most of all, someone who’s not  _anything_  like the man currently in front of me, who’s every move screams danger and who’s body is an elaborate trap set up to lure in broken girls like me.

Nath is watching me, his eyebrows raised in amusement and that stupid, lazy grin on his face. As if it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world, the thought of me on a date with Hyun. I resist the urge to slap it off his face.   
  
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap instead, shoving my water bottle and towel into my bag a little more aggressively then I had meant to.   
  
“Like what?”  
  
He’s baiting me, I know it. When I don’t answer, he raises a blonde eyebrow at me, and that goddamn smirk finally falls from his face.   
  
“I know he’s not your type.” He says darkly, his voice low and callous.  
  
I turn on him, my arms folding across my chest impatiently. “And  _what_  would my type be exactly?”  
  
_“Me.”_  
  
I scoff, turning around to zip up my bag. There’s the reaction I had been expecting. The possessiveness, the jealousy. As if I were his to control.

“Keep dreaming, Nath.”

It’s getting to that hour in the gym where everyone has already finished their workout and headed home for the night. Not that anyone would enter the boxing room while Nath’s using it anyway. It’s ridiculous how scared people are of him. And it’s something that I still don’t fully understand.

I’ve just hoisted my gym bag onto my shoulder when I feel his presence behind me, his hands sliding over my hips, and the bag falls to the ground with a  _thud._    
  
“You know  _exactly_  what you’re doing, don’t you?” His lips are beside my ear, his warm breath ruffling my hair, and I feel tiny bumps raising on the skin of my neck.   
  
I swallow thickly, trying to keep my head. I can’t play into his game.  _Not again._

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His hands wander over my stomach, playing with the waistband of my shorts, and my breath hitches in my throat.

 _“God, you drive me crazy.”_  
  
My body warms, coming alive under his touch, though I will it not to. When I speak, my voice is not nearly as steady as I wish it were. “I’m afraid you went that way before I came back into the picture.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous on purpose?” His voice is a low growl in my ear, and it does things to my body that I should be ashamed of.  _I’m supposed to be meeting Hyun for dinner, not letting myself fall into Nathaniel’s trap once again…_    
  
“Is it working?” The words leave my lips before I can stop them, and I mentally slap myself. He wants to play. No need to encourage him.   
  
It only takes his hand on my elbow to turn me so I’m facing him. He grips my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look at him.   
  
“You _know_  what you do to me,” He growls, his voice so dark that it sends a chill through me.

I should leave. I should walk out of here right now, without another word.

 _The problem is, I know I won’t…_    
  
“This isn’t a thing,” I say, pointing between us, attempting to stand my ground. It doesn’t help my argument when my voice breaks under his gaze. “We’re not a thing.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” He has me exactly where he wants me, and he knows it.

 _Well, two can play that game…_    
  
I let out an impatient huff of air as I pull away from his grasp and move past him. “I don’t have time for this.”  
  
His hand on my arm stops me.

_“Don’t go.”_

“He’s waiting for me,” I try to pull my arm from his grasp, but he only squeezes tighter. When he speaks, his voice is tight. Nothing but an icy thread of bitterness.   
  
“What do I have to do to stop you from going on that date, huh? Get on my knees and  _beg?”_

“Don’t be-“My voice is cut short by the sight of him dropping to his knees in front of me, and my head grows heavy.

I’ve spent so long trying to push away my feelings for him, telling myself I’m only repeating history with my bad choices. And then he goes and pulls shit like this, and it makes it  _impossible_  to fight against it.  
  
“Is this what you want to see?” He gazes up at me through thick lashes, and his lips curve slowly into a grin which is positively demonic.  

“Nath, get up.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

_“I don’t.”_

“What if I do this?” His fingers snake up the back of my bare leg as he presses a kiss to my thigh, and my skin turns electric under his touch. I know he doesn’t miss the shudder it sends through my entire body. When he does the same on the other side, my legs tremble, and my hands on his shoulders are the only thing keeping me upright, my fingers digging into his skin hard enough to leave marks.   
  
“You know, there are plenty of things I can do with my mouth besides talking.” He purrs, scattering kisses over my skin. My legs part involuntarily, and he nips the inside of my thigh with his teeth, drawing out a soft gasp.  
  
He’s coaxing me into it, I can feel it. It’s not that I don’t want this, that I don’t want him.  _I want him so much that it terrifies me._

And the dangerous part is that he knows. He would never push it if I was unsure, I know that much… but I’m  _not_  unsure, only cautious. I think he almost enjoys breaking down my walls.

 _“You know he won’t fuck you like I do.”_ His breath is so close to my core that I can feel its warmth course through me, and my eyes flitter shut.

 _It would be so easy… so easy to give in to him… to let him make me feel the way I know he can._    
  
“Nath… _I can’t…”_ My voice is a gasping breathe of air, my hands threading through his hair. I can feel his lips on my skin, his tongue flicking over the sensitive spots on my legs and it’s making me  _lose my mind._

 _Dangerous… its too risky._  
  
“That’s what you said last time.” He says against my skin, his fingers trailing dangerously close to the hem of my shorts.

I can’t say no to him. It’s a weakness. A disease that’s left me helpless and compliant. And it’s my own fault. Because I can’t stay away from him, no matter how hard I try.  

_I hate him sometimes. Hate the way he makes me want him so bad. And I want him, I want him, I want him…_

His fingers slide under the fabric of my shorts, and then underneath my panties where I’m hot, and slick, and  _desperate_  for his touch. There’s no hiding that I’m wet for him, and he knows it in an instant.

A low growl tears from his throat and his eyes turn wild. In one quick movement he’s on his feet, one arm dragging me against his hard body, and the other pulling the elastic out of my hair.

His mouth over mine has me breaking under his touch.  _I can’t stop. I can’t stop…_

_He has me well and truly in his web, and I don’t care… I just need him to keep touching me like he is._

He bites my bottom lip, using his tongue to flick over the spot a second later. His hand is so tight in my hair I can’t move, even if I wanted to. My legs tremble, and I’m weak against him, useless to do anything except give in…

He drops down to the mat, taking me with him, positioning me in his lap where my legs are straddling either side of him. I kiss him hard, I don’t want him to be gentle with me, and he knows…  _oh god, he knows everything…_

My body melts into his and I roll my hips against him, delighting in the low sound he makes at the contact. It gives me some control, at least, knowing his body responds to me as much as mine does to him.

His lips move to my neck and I bite down on my tongue, desperately trying to hold back any sound that threatens to escape my lips as his mouth moves to that sensitive spot in the crook of my neck. He bites again, this time a little too rough, and I let out an annoyed sound.

_What am I doing? Why do I let him win, time and time again…?_

I pull back from him, taking in a sharp breath to steel myself against him.   
  
_“I have to go.”_

He lets out the smallest breath of a laugh, leaning his head forward against my shoulder, but doesn’t stop me this time. “You’ll come back to me. You always do.”

I untangle myself from him quickly, not letting enough time pass to second guess my decision. “I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.”

He only watches me, amused, as I attempt to gather my wits.

“Enjoy your date,” he says with a lazy grin, sitting with his arms resting over his bent knees. “I’ll be taking a nice, long shower. All on my own.” Then he winks at me. “I’ll think of you.”

I tear my eyes away from his body, the one that I’m tempted, even now, to tun back to and narrow them at him before I leave, swinging my gym bag over my shoulder.

My skin is still feverish as I all but run past the girl at the counter, but I don’t let myself turn back. I give her a tight smile. I can’t remember her name.  _Mandy… or Maggie maybe?_

“Bye Candy…  _oh_. I see training with Nath went well.” She tries and fails miserably to hide her giggle behind her hand.

My eyebrows dip, and I’ve almost made it to the exit when I see the source of her amusement in the reflection of the door. That  _sneaky_  son of a bitch has left bite marks on my neck, my thighs, and god only knows where else.

I let out a defeated sigh, though I know I’m not nearly as annoyed as I should be.

_Who am I kidding? I’m crazy for the guy…_

I suppose there’s nothing left to do now except crash Nathaniel’s shower and finish where we left off. 


	4. CandyxNathaniel "Put me down!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CandyxNathaniel "Put me down!"

I let out a laugh. A light, tinkle of a noise that lights up the eyes of the man in front of me and has him grinning from ear to ear. He was Rosalya’s choice, of course. And I can’t deny that he’s  _hot_. Dark hair, bright eyes.

And sure, he’s nice enough, but… nothing special. Seems a little narcissistic if you ask me. Still, it’s been a while since I’ve been with someone. And a girl has needs, after all.

I don’t miss the way his eyes drop to my lips when I talk. How his fingers graze my arm so subtly. The night is going exactly as I’ve planned. With any luck, we’ll be leaving the Snake Room within the hou-

“Let’s talk later,” He says, his voice suddenly cold. I look up at him, my eyebrows dipping in confusion.

His gaze is no longer on mine, however, and when I follow his eyes to see what’s got him so shook up, I find Nathaniel leaning against the side of the bar – a smug grin plastered on his handsome face.

I roll my eyes, not caring to be discreet.

_Great. Just what I need, my ex-boyfriend hanging around to scare off any guys who might talk to me._

“Wait,” I put a hand on my new friends’ arm before he can leave. I can’t even remember his name.  _Was it Jason?_

“You know him?” He asks, nodding his head in Naths direction. His eyes are hard,  _suspicious_. I can tell this isn’t the first time he’s seen Nath around.

“Not at all,” I shrug innocently, and every hair on my body stands on end when I hear the snicker come from behind me. I sense his presence before I feel him brush against my shoulder, sending sparks of electricity over my skin.

“Best be on your way, mate,” Nath says to the guy, his voice amused, before his golden eyes fall on me.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’m  _busy_ ,” I snap back, trying my best to ignore him, though his towering presence makes that difficult.

“Is that so?” He asks, and I can tell he’s looking at the guy  _(Maybe it was Simon?)_ by the way he tenses in front of me.

“ _Leave me alone_ , Nath.” I hiss, finally turning on him with gritted teeth.

He only watches me, that infuriating grin spread across his lips, knowing  _exactly_  what he’s doing.

“I thought you said you didn’t know him?” The voice comes from beside me, though I’m still staring Nath down when I answer.

_“I don’t.”_

Nath tuts, his eyes crinkling with the haughty smile he’s giving me. “Is that any way to talk about your first love?”

I take in a sharp inhale, steeling myself against him before turning back to the random guy and attempting a smile that I hope is charming.

“Sorry, Mark.”

“It’s Ian.” He says, before backing away and disappearing into the crowd. My eyes flash red, and I turn on Nath swiftly, pushing against his chest.

_“Stay away from me.”_

And with that I walk away from him, thoroughly pissed off at the events of the night, ready to find Rosa and hopefully someone else who can hold my attention, if only for a minute.

Well, that was my plan, anyway. Until Nath steps in front of me, and I let out a surprised noise as he grabs me around the waist and hoists me up over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” I smack him on the shoulder, but he doesn’t stop. “Nath, I swear, if you don’t put me down  _right now_ , I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” His voice rumbles through me as he talks. “What more could you possibly do to me?”

I don’t answer. I’m much too preoccupied with trying to preserve at least  _some_ of my dignity by pulling on the hem of my dress to cover anything that might be on display.   
  
He doesn’t drop me until we’re outside the bar, and I turn on him immediately, fire in my blood.

_“What is wrong with you?”_

“What’s wrong? How about you in there trying to get into the pants of that good for nothing wanker?”

My eyes narrow at him. “I’m not  _yours_  anymore, Nath.”

 _“You’ll always be mine,”_  He hisses, his eyes turning hard.

I take a step back from him, my lips pressed together in a tight smile. It takes all that I have to not let out the bitter laugh that’s bubbling inside my chest before I call him out for the hypocrite he is.

“May I remind you, you have a  _girlfriend_.”  
  
His jaw flexes in that waythat tells me he’s trying to hold himself back, and I raise my eyebrows, provoking him.  _That sure shut him up though…_

I had seen him with her a couple of times. A pretty brunette who he was quick not to introduce me to. It’s probably for the best, I think. I have a hot head and a quick temper, and Nath knows that better than any.

“Where is she tonight?” I ask, my voice laced with mock sweetness, though he only narrows his eyes at me. I’m enjoying how much I’m getting under his skin. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it.

I hadn’t seen her in the bar tonight. Maybe they had a fight. The thought of that makes me happier than it should.

“I didn’t expect you would ever come back to this town,” He says finally, so quiet I can barely hear it over the music spilling out of the bar beside us.

I grit my teeth,  _hard_.  

“Well I did,” I say, the venom inside me coating every word. “And I didn’t come back for you.”

His nostrils flare. His anger rising with the colour in his cheeks.

“Go fuck that loser at the bar then,” He growls darkly, his patience snapped. “ _See if I care_.”

“I will!” I hurl the words at him as I brush past, but he stops me with a hand on my arm.

“Baby, wait...” He says, his mouth right beside my ear, and I have to force myself not to shudder at the memories of his breath against my skin. It seems like so long ago…

“ _I’m not your baby_ ,” I hiss at him, trying to remove my arm.

“Don’t be like that, Candy,” He pleads with his eyes, begging me to stay. “Can’t you see I’m trying here.”

I finally look at him then. At the eyes I used to lose myself in. The lips that could cure any bad mood, any sadness. The scar is new, and I still wonder how it happened. But he was mine, once upon a time ago. And I loved him like nothing else.  _God, I loved him…_

“I hate you...” I sob, my voice breaking under the weight of the emotion. “ _I hate you._ You didn’t even try.”

His face falls, but I steel myself against it, despite the tears that have spilled onto my cheeks. I have to tell myself I hate him to numb the pain of the truth. That he broke my heart. That he broke  _me._ And every time I have to see him with that girl, another part of me shatters.

“Candy. You were the one who left. Did you even care what  _I_ was going through?”

I don’t say anything.  _I can’t_. All I can think about is  _my_  pain,  _my_ heartbreak,  _my_  life. I know it’s selfish of me, but I don’t care. He’s pushed me too far.

I can see my silence grating on him, and eventually he snaps. I have to take a step back as he moves towards me, his eyes so cold it hurts my heart.

“Do you know how it felt for me to constantly worry about  _where_  you were,  _who_  you were with,  _what_  you were doing!”

“You should’ve just asked!”

“It doesn’t always work like that.”

I’m well aware of the people watching us. I’m sure we’ll be the talk of the campus tomorrow, but I don’t care. I’m seeing red, and I can’t stop that words that spill out of my mouth next.

“So you broke up with me instead. Just so you could  _fuck_  half the campus here without feeling guilty about it.”

He grits his teeth against the accusation, his eyes furious slit of gold. And then he shakes his head, as it to clear the rage, before letting out a defeated sigh.

“You know what, forget it. I’m not fighting with you right now.”

He turns to leave, and I laugh, my bitterness flooding through me like a wave.

“Oh great,  _walk away_ , Nath. That’s what you do best.”

It only takes a second for him to advance on me, a finger pointed in my face.

“Don’t you  _fucking_  start with that!”

I smack his hand out of the way, but he grabs me by the wrist, holding tight enough to hurt. When I try to move, his grip only tightens, and a painful hiss escapes me.

_“I hate you.”_

“You don’t hate me, Candy,” He says, exhaling in a tired sigh as his grip relaxes. “You love me so much you can’t stand it.”

My eyes narrow on him. What I do hate is how he can see right through me, even now. A painful lump rises in my throat, and I swallow it down. I can’t stop the tears that fall hot, and fast down my face and I  _hate how he makes me feel like this._

“I know because I feel it too,” He says softly, dropping my wrist altogether before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “But I won’t do this anymore.”   
  
He walks away from me, and I bite my lip to stifle the sob that threatens to escape, wiping away the stray tears with the back of my hand, careful not to smudge my makeup more then I’m sure it already is. The night isn’t over. And the one thing I know is I  _won’t_  be going home alone.  _I need someone to numb this pain. To keep him off my mind…_

And still, I want to make him hurt as much as he hurt me. I want to tear his heart apart, to make it bleed, to watch him struggle to put it back together. I’m so angry that I don’t care how cruel that sounds.

_I just want him to hurt._

It’s then that my eyes land upon a familiar redhead heading into the bar. Castiel stops, cocking his head to the side as our eyes lock. And then he winks at me.

_Perfect._


	5. The cute one with Nath

“Nath?”  
  
I poke my head through the door to his apartment, scanning for any sign of him. It’s quiet. The only sounds to be heard are the pattering of raindrops on the windows.    
  
Maybe he’s not here at all.   
  
Removing my key from the lock, I softly pull the door closed behind me. I’d been trying to get hold of him all morning, with no luck. The last time I’d heard from him was yesterday morning after I’d messaged him saying I’d have to miss our gym session due to having to study for an exam.    
  
I flick on a light switch before setting my handbag and keys next to the sofa. Exams are over, and we have plans this afternoon.  
__  
I swear, if he’s forgotten, I’m going to wring his bloody neck.  
  
Wary, and becoming increasingly annoyed, I tip-toe through the empty house, poking my head in the kitchen. Still no sign of him.   
__  
Maybe he’s at the gym. He usually turns his phone off there. But all morning?  
  
An uneasiness settles in the pit of my stomach.   
  
When I enter his bedroom, I finally find him. Sprawled over his bed, his arms up under his pillow, fast asleep. Blanche stirs when I enter, giving me a soft squeak of a meow from the end of the bed as I scratch her gently on the head, before she curls up and goes back to sleep.  
  
I can’t help but let a small smile tug at my lips, my annoyance dissipating in a second. He always manages to look so adorable, even when sleeping. His long legs clad in a pair of grey track pants and a white T-shirt that fits him in all the right places.  
  
I kneel on the bed, taking care to move slowly, and crawl over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. His eyelids flutter as he stirs and breathes in deeply, giving me a lazy grin.   
  
“Mm, this is a good dream,” his voice is husky, still laced with sleep. He reaches an arm out for me.   
  
“Lucky for you, it’s not a dream.” I tease, letting him pull me into him. I tangle my legs with his as he snakes an arm over my waist, his nose nuzzling in my hair.   
  
“Lucky, huh? If you knew what I do to you in my dreams, maybe you wouldn’t be so sure.”  
  
I nudge him in outrage and he gives a throaty chuckle, the sound rumbling through me. He rolls onto his side and looks at me through heavy-lidded eyes, ruffling my hair playfully.  
  
“You look beautiful.”  
  
I roll my eyes to hide my delight. As if I hadn’t spent an hour this morning picking out an outfit I knew would drive him crazy.   
  
“Flatterer.”  
  
“Isn’t it my job to tell my girlfriend how amazing she looks everyday?”  
  
“Only if you mean it.”  
  
“I do.”  
  
He leans over to kiss me. It doesn’t matter how many times his lips have touched mine before, it still makes my head spin. His hands wander. His fingertips grazing my skin as they slink under the fabric of my top.   
  
I pull back from him gently, and he gives me a feline grin.   
  
“Nath… you promised you’d come see Chani’s film with me today.”  
  
His eyes crinkle. “Did I now?”   
  
He’s teasing me, I know it. I also know it’s the last thing he wants to do right now - going to see a student film. But we can’t miss it, not for anything. When I raise my eyebrows at him he sighs and drops down beside me.   
  
“Why are you still in bed anyway, lazy bones?” I prop myself up on an arm to look him over. He looks exhausted, if I’m being honest.  
  
“Late night.”  
  
Too many late nights, and too little sleep. That’s how it was with him. He rubs his eyes with a hand and my gaze flickers over the scarring on his knuckles. Every time I see him, there seems to be more.   
  
He glances at the window. To the rain pattering outside. It’s getting heavier, the dark clouds outside swallowing the light. His golden eyes turn on me, the playful glint in them unmistakable.   
  
“Or we could just stay here… I’ll make it worth your while.”  
  
He gives me a demonic grin and pulls the blanket up over us, his arms encircling me and his lips on my neck, hungry. His touch sends electric sparks running over my skin, and I bite my lip to hold back a sound. I’m so tempted to stay, and he knows it. He does this to me all too often.   
  
I let out a low sigh as he trails lazy kisses over my chest, his grip tightening on my hip. It’s not that I wouldn’t love to stay tangled up in bed with him, but we have plans. I can’t let Chani down. My voice is more breathless then I would have liked when I speak next.  
  
“Nath…  _you promised_ …”  
  
He stops, hovering above me, and throws back the covers to look at me. I quirk an eyebrow at him and he lets out a defeated sigh.  
  
“Alright, alright you win. What’s this movie about huh?” He asks as he pushes himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. He gives Blanche a quick scratch on the back, and she purrs contently.  
  
I hesitate, chewing on my lower lip. The latest hobby my best friend had picked up was film-making, and today she’d be debuting her work at the local theater. True to her character, she had picked a rather unusual topic of work…   
  
“It’s a documentary…” I start slowly. “Something about the Salem witch trials and… new age magic?“   
  
He stops, throwing a hard stare at me from over his shoulder. And then chuckles as he shakes his head in disbelief.   
  
"My god, I must love you.”  
  
I grin, pushing myself up to pull him closer and whisper against his lips.   
  
“I’d say you do.” 


	6. How it should have ended (Episode 7) Candy/Nathaniel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the end of MCLUL Episode 7

He says goodnight and kisses me on the forehead, though I barely register it. My lashes flitter over sun-soaked skin, fighting to stay open. I’m so exhausted I could fall asleep where I stand, right in the middle of this hallway, and I know that it’s only his arm around me, holding me against him, that’s preventing me from doing so.   
  
Reluctantly, I pull myself away from him, using the door frame of my room to steady myself. Immediately, I regret it, missing his arms. The warmth and the strength of those corded muscles. I’d been dozing in them for the past couple of hours. I’d gotten quite used to them.   
  
“Nath, wait.”  
  
He was leaving, but he turns back to me, his golden eyes dark and heavy. It’s almost 5 am, and the party at the beach had left us both shattered. It wouldn’t be fair to make him walk all the way through town to his apartment at this hour.   
  
“You could stay… if you want?”  
  
I know it’s not the most subtle thing to ask…we had only recently started getting to know each other better. But I feel safe around him. I feel happy, when he’s here. I can’t ignore that.   
  
“If you’re trying to seduce me I’m afraid your timing is awful,” He cracks a grin, but I can see the exhaustion weighing on him. His heavy shoulders, his tight smile.   
  
“Not like that,” I say with a tired laugh, opening the door to my dorm with a gesture for him to enter. “Just to sleep.”    
  
He thinks for a moment, his lips lifted on one side. “Well… If you insist.”  
  
We don’t bother flicking on the lights. There’s enough moonlight shining through the small window to illuminate the place. Though all of a sudden, I’m nervous. I haven’t shared a bed with someone in such a long time… even just to sleep next to each other.   
  
Yeleen isn’t home, as I had thought. She had been utterly engrossed with her friends, or…  _whatever_ they were, when I ran into her at the beach. Thank god for that. I don’t need any of her snarky comments in the morning.   
  
Nath hangs his jacket over the back of my desk chair and kicks off his shoes. I stifle a yawn with the back of my hand and slide into bed fully dressed, too tired to change into anything else.    
  
The softness of my mattress is a welcome comfort, and I bury under the covers dreamily, letting out a contented sigh as the night washes off me.   
  
My heart picks up a little as Nath slides under the covers with me, his body warm and the scent of his cologne enveloping me, making my already foggy head spin.   
  
I don’t hesitate when he pulls me into his arms, my head resting against his chest, and my nerves start to settle. He lets out a long breath and I relax into him, letting him run his fingers through my long hair, so gently…   
  
I’m asleep within minutes.  
  
_I dream of the beach. A paradise, illuminated by the soft glow of the moon over white sand. The two of us walk along the shore together, our feet wet from the waves and the ocean air kissing our skin. We don’t say anything. I don’t think we need to._  
  
Nath takes me by the wrist and pulls me into the water. At first, I hesitate. The water is so dark… a glassy, black mass reflecting the sky above us. Who knows what sinister thing could be lurking under the surface.  
  
But when Nath pulls me into him, his lips finding mine, I don’t seem to care anymore. The water gets deeper, licking up the skin of my legs, but all that matters are his hands on my waist, and his taste on my lips and the way that he kisses me so hungrily I can barely catch my breath. The water rises, but I don’t panic. Because I’m with him.   
  
When I wake up it’s to a stream of midday light peeking through a slit in the curtains, and my eyes squeeze shut, taking a moment to adjust to the brightness.   
  
Nath is beside me, fast asleep, his nose nuzzled in my neck and his arm around my waist. I can’t help but smile softly to myself. I’ve never seen him so still before. So peaceful. His breath slow and warm against my skin, and his hair golden in the morning light.   
  
He pulls me tighter against him in his sleep, and I know in this moment that I don’t care what anyone has to say. I don’t care if Rosalya despises him, or Alexy disapproves, or what any of my friends have to say about him.  
  
_Because they’re wrong._    
  
Whoever this Nath is, high school version of him or not, I’m falling for him.   
  
And when he stirs, murmuring “Morning, beautiful,” and kisses me on the cheek, I know…  
  
He’s falling for me too. 


	7. How it should have ended (Episode 7) Candy/Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the end of MCLUL Episode 7

I let out the breath I had been holding, watching him walk away from me, his shadowed form illuminated by overhanging street lights and the gleam of a full, November moon.   
  
His footsteps echo through the street, deserted in these early hours of the morning. I think back on the night we had had… the party at the beach. How I had broken away from our friends, drawn to him, as I always had been.   
  
We had flirted a little. Talking about old times while he sat beside me on the sand, so close, and taught me a few songs on his guitar. The scent of his cologne had hit me harder then a brick wall at first. He still wore the same one, after all these years, and the memories the scent of him brought back were fiercely real.   
  
But despite our turbulent past, the night was… nice. That little bubble on the beach, just the two of us, listening to the waves crashing against the sand and the music from the bar faraway. No Crowstorm, no fame, no groupies.   
  
Just a boy and a girl, underneath the soft glow of the moon and the party lights overhead.   
  
“Castiel?” I call, and he stops, running a hand through scarlet strands before turning back to me. His hair is longer, his shoulders broader. And he still has that grin that makes my stomach turn to butterflies and my legs to jello. The same one he’s wearing now.   
  
“Thank you for tonight,” I have to raise my voice to be heard, he’s almost at the corner of the street now. His lips quirk higher and he dips his head, scarlet locks falling around his face.    
  
“It’s my pleasure, little girl,” He answers, his deep voice cutting through the silence of the night.   
  
His voice is what I remember most. He used to hold me so tight. Singing me to sleep while he traced patterns on my back with his fingertips. We could spend hours and hours just wrapped up in each other. Never letting go.   
  
He hesitates, turning to leave before stopping himself, his mouth a tight line.   
  
“Don’t go and fall in love now,” He says, quieter this time, and for a moment I wonder if he’s talking to me, or himself.   
  
I give him a look, my eyebrows dipping, though he only chuckles darkly, shoving his hands in his pockets before turning and continuing down the darkened street.   
  
I swallow thickly, sifting through the ghosts of past memories in my head. He had said something similar to me, all those years ago.  
__  
“You haven’t gone and fallen in love now, have you?”  
  
We both knew the answer as soon as he said it. It had been gleaming in my eyes, as plain as day. And then he had kissed me, and my world changed in an instant.   
  
Things are different now. We’re older, we’ve matured… though we’re not necessarily wiser.   
  
The game has changed. The stakes are higher. And I know that I don’t have to worry about falling in love with him, not this time. Because the simple truth is more familiar then any song. The melody of it plays in my head, over and over, until the words stick in my mind, refusing to be ignored.   
  
I’ve been in love with him all along. 


	8. How it should have ended (Episode 7) Candy/Rayan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the end of Episode 7

I step towards the campus gates, my hand outstretched, hesitating. Tonight has been a whirlwind. A torrent of first names and fast dancing. I’m not sure I want that to end.   
  
“Rayan…” I start, unsure of myself. My mouth is dry. My heart pounding a million miles a minute. When I turn back to him he’s looking at me curiously, his head cocked to the side and his hands in his pockets.   
  
“I would like to, you know.”  
  
His eyes squint in confusion, and I take in a deep breath to steady my voice before I can feel foolish.   
  
“Meet your friends.”  
  
He smiles at me in that way that makes my knees weak, and I bite down on my lip. It’s  _insane_  how he makes me feel.   
  
“One day you will,” His voice is gravelly, laced with fatigue, and he says it with such sincerity that my heart falters.  
  
When he steps towards me, my breath sticks in my throat. We’d been close all night, but somehow, this is different…  
  
There’s something here, I know it. Something that’s not entirely right, from a moral standing.   
  
Something that makes my pulse race and my head spin. It consumes and elates me. During classes I find it harder and harder to concentrate, instead spending my time daydreaming over the curve of his arms and the way his mouth moves when he talks. Imaging the feeling of both on my skin.   
  
It’s not right. I know it can’t go any further with us then it has tonight.   
  
But I don’t care.   
  
“Rayan, I…”  
  
He steps closer, his hand under my chin, his thumb running over my lower lip. My skin is electric under his touch, my hands shaking as they find themselves pressed against his chest. He tilts my chin up, and I’m instantly lost in those bright eyes.   
  
“You don’t have to say anything,” He says, his voice quiet enough for only me to hear. “I feel it too.”  
  
He bends down and kisses me on the corner of my mouth, so gently that my breath stops. I’m as still as stone, stunned, all breath leaving my body in a disbelieving exhale. He lingers a second, his green eyes on my lips, and I think he’s going to kiss me again.   
  
_I want him to. Oh god, do I want him to._  
  
“Goodnight, Miss.”   
  
His breath is all I can feel on my lips, and he drops his hand and turns from me quickly, hesitating as if he would stop himself at any second. I’m still standing there dumbstruck in front of the gates when he turns the corner and vanishes, my heart pounding an erratic rhythm in my chest.   
  
_“Goodnight…”_


	9. How it should have ended (Episode 8) Candy/Nathaniel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the end of Episode 8

An icy wind howls through the campus quad, the promise of December snow following swiftly on it’s heels. I shiver, watching my breath fog under the midnight streetlights, and wrap my arms around myself.    
  
Nath lets out a long sigh, his golden eyes meeting mine with a sadness that clutches at my heart.   
  
“I can’t tell you the truth, not yet. If I did…”   
  
His eyebrows dip, and a look of utter conflict passes over his face. We’ve been back and forth for weeks now. All the secrets, all the questions… they’re like a barrier between us. A high wall that refuses to be scaled.   
  
“You wouldn’t look at me the way you are now,” He says, his voice low. “And I… I couldn’t stand that.”  
  
Something in my chest drops at his words, but my curiosity is peaked. He takes a step forward, and I almost step back in reflex. But I don’t want to run from him. And I’m not scared, despite my friends thinking I should be.  
  
I know he wouldn’t hurt me.   
  
“I’m sorry, Candy… I don’t let anyone get close to me,” He reaches out, and  I let him take me in his arms. He’s a welcome warmth against the cold night air, and his scent is so comforting that I never want him to let go.   
  
“But with you… I couldn’t help it.”  
  
_I’m so torn._  
  
I’m still mad at him for meeting with that scumbag,  _furious_  even, after what he did to me… and now Nina… it’s just not right.  
  
My friends tell me repeatedly to distance myself from Nath. They say that he’s dangerous, that he’s not worth it, that I’d be better off with someone else.   
  
Sometimes, I try to tell myself that it’s true.   
  
“Nath, why won’t you trust me enough to tell me?” My voice cracks, my emotions getting the best of me. Maybe it’s me that’s the problem. Maybe he doesn’t want me to know, because I’m not as important as I thought I was to him.    
  
“I do,” His eyes flicker over me fiercely, just for a moment. “You’re the only one I trust, and that’s why I can’t. It’s too dangerous, and I won’t involve you in it. Because I…”  
  
He tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear, hesitating with whatever he’s trying to say.   
  
“Because… I just won’t.”  
  
I shake my head, still confused, and quickly losing patience. “I don’t understand.”  
  
“I know,” He gives an apologetic smiles and leans forward, his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. When he speaks, his voice is soft.   
  
“But will you trust me, for just a little longer?”  
  
I want to say no, but my heart won’t let me. It overcomes any rationality my mind may have. It screams at me to stay, to trust him, and maybe, most of all…  _to love him._  
  
His hands are on either side of my face, so warm, and he places a kiss on my forehead, his voice barely louder then a whisper. “Part of me wants to tell you to listen to your friends. To stay away from me.”  
  
He kisses my cheek, and then the other, so slowly, and my skin is hot, despite the weather.   
  
“But the other part…  _the selfish part_ … it would do anything just to keep you. If only for a second longer.”  
  
His lips meet the corner of my mouth and I freeze, as still as steel and stone, every drop of my blood coursing with this fire he ignites in me. He lingers there, his breath uneven, almost as if he’s judging my reaction. When I do nothing he bites down on his lip.  
  
“I should go.”  
  
He drops his arms and turns to leave, and my mind races with a dozen unspoken words, and the regret of doing nothing. And still,  _I’m so torn_ … my heart and mind in a constant battle for dominance.   
  
“Wait,” I call after him, and he turns back to me.   
  
I can’t let him leave like this.   
  
He sees it in my eyes. He must, because in an instant he steps forward and his lips are on mine. I let out a gasp of surprise, as if this isn’t  _exactly_  what I had wanted him to do. His hand is on the side of my face, moving to tangle through my hair, while his other is on my waist, pulling me so tightly against him that it’s almost painful.  
  
And I’m so caught up in him that I can’t stop.  
  
His lips are rough over mine, so full of feverish need and want that leaves me struggling to catch my breath, and my head is spinning with the taste of him. He kisses me hard, and I don’t care who might see.  _Let them see…_  
  
My heart has made this choice for me. I won’t leave him.   
  
My hands are on the front of his jacket, pulling him close, urging him on. I roll my hips against him and he groans into my mouth, the sound sending bolts of shivers through me.   
  
He pulls back just as abruptly as he started, his breath deep and uneven as he runs a hand through his hair, gazing at me through heavy eyes. And then he turns and walks for the gates, not sparing a glance back, and I let out a long breath.  
  
My fierce need for him is almost as strong as my demand for answers. He had asked me to trust him, for just a little longer, and as much as my mind rebels against the very thought, I know I’ll do it.  
  
Because I’m not falling anymore.  
  
I am well and truly his. 


	10. Defense | CandyxNathaniel

_Friends._  
  
That’s what we are now, according to him.   
  
We had fallen out of touch for a long time, and I had moved on, learning to live without him. Learning to forget his love, and all the beauty that came with it. Until he re-entered my life like a hurricane, forcing me to reconnect with this strange, new version of him.  
  
The more time I spend with Nathaniel, the more I’ve gotten used to it. This bad boy attitude he wears like a mask.    
  
But also the more time I spend with him… the more I come to rely on his presence, once again. He has a way of taking my walls and shattering them completely. He always has.   
  
“Keep your guard up,” Nath growls, his voice echoing off the walls of the empty gym. It’s late. We’ve been at it for a while, and my exhaustion is showing in the set of my shoulders, the darkness of my eyes.  
  
_Keep my guard up indeed_ , I think as I raise my fists, alternating my swings between left and right as he holds the training pads up in front of him and takes the force of my blows. 

My mind drifts.   
__  
Those two guys in the alley...  
  
Their faces used to haunt my nightmares. They had me waking up in a sweat at all hours of the night, locked in the dark where I felt helpless and small. I’m lucky that Nath showed up that night when he did.   
  
I shudder to think what would have happened if he hadn’t.

He had seen my struggle in the weeks after, and had offered to train me to protect myself. I was reluctant at first, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t let myself be as helpless as I had been that night I came back here. I refused to be.   
  
And the more I train with Nath, the more soundly I sleep. I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s a start. I’m getting stronger everyday.   
  
“Gloves off,” He orders after a while, throwing the pads to one side and adjusting the wraps around his hands. His face is tight when he’s in training mode. Focused.    
  
“Let’s go over the maneuvers I showed you last time.”  
  
Droplets of sweat trickle down my back, and I remove my gloves and set them aside, taking in a deep breath to steel myself. This is the part I dread the most.   
  
I stand in the middle of the ring, shoulders set, and he comes up behind me, slow at first. He talks me through the moves, his actions becoming stronger and quicker the more confident I become.  
  
We practice over and over until I can get him on the ground in the matter of seconds, and he gives me a tap of approval on my leg as he pushes himself up off the mat.   
  
“Good,” He says, and I grin proudly. Another move to add to the vault.   
  
He takes a swig from his water bottle, and I watch him curiously. I don’t know where he learnt most of the things he knows, I don’t even know if he knew all this when we were together. But I have to admit… he’s a good teacher.   
  
The next move is trickier. It’s always worse when he’s in front of me. It brings back too many unwanted memories. Nath starts with his hand around my throat, not tight enough to hurt, but enough to immobilize me.   
  
I fend him off successfully, and he nods in approval before trying again. I hit his arm aside, another successful attempt.   
  
But I can feel it rising in me, the memories of panic and helplessness. The overwhelming fear of being alone. The next time I move to hit him, I falter, my stuttered breath catching in my throat.   
  
“Candy,” Nath drops his hand immediately.  
  
The walls cave in on me, drowning me in their sea of doubt, and I fall. 

I crouch down, curling my knees up and making myself small. My eyes sting with the threat of tears, and I take in a gulp of air to steady myself, my chest tightening painfully. 

  
“Candy, look at me.”  
  
His voice sounds distant. Not entirely there. When the sirens in my head finally subside, I find he’s dropped to his knees in front of me. He gently takes my chin in between his finger and thumb, raising my face towards him.  
  
It takes a second or two, I don’t want him to see the distress that I know is written all over my tear-stained face, but finally I look up at him from under dark lashes. I don’t see pity, or anger, or even worry on his face. All I see is his steely resolution.   
  
And I know he believes in me.   
  
“You’re safe,” He says, his hand moving to cup the side of my face gently. “You’re safe with me.”  
  
All I can do is nod. Not from fear of him, but simply the fact that I don’t think I could’ve strung a sentence together even if I tried.   
  
_We’re just friends_ , I have to tell myself again.  
  
I think.   
  
It’s nothing new, the panic attacks. We’ve learned to work through them, when they hit, and it’s easier to get back on my feet every time. In the beginning they left me immobilized. Quite unable to recover so easily.   
  
“Do you want to stop?” He asks, and I shake my head.   
  
Now, I’ve learnt to push through. Using those memories to fuel me as I train myself harder against my fears. _I have to keep going._  
  
“Try again,” He says gently, taking the same stance and waiting for my okay.   
  
Feeling more confident, I slam his hand aside, then bring my knee up into his stomach, but misjudge the distance, and end up kneeing him in the bare abdomen much too hard, with a resounding  _thwack._  
  
“ _Fuck_ , Candy…” he breathes, doubled over in pain, and my eyes widen.   
  
“Nath,  _shit_ … I’m sorry.”  
  
He drops to sit on the mat with a groan, still rubbing his stomach tenderly. I sit down with him, a hand on his shoulder to make sure he’s okay. He lifts his head, and instead of the anticipated scowl, he throws me a lopsided grin.   
  
“You’re getting the hang of it.”  
  
I smile a little and he moves closer, reaching out to brush the hair away from my face that has fallen out of my ponytail. And then he stops. His hand lingering on the side of my face, his thumb running over my flushed skin.   
  
“Is this part of the training?” I ask, my voice a mere breath as I fall into those familiar golden eyes.   
  
His lips quirk up at the corner. “Do you want it to be?”   
  
I bite down on my lip to stifle my stupid grin, and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.   
  
And that laugh.  _My god, that laugh_. That whisper of a memory that’s all the proof I need to know that my Nathaniel…  
_  
He’s still in there._


	11. Episode 8 | CandyxCastiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during Episode 8 after Castiel takes Candy to the infirmary  
> Castiel POV

I step into the hallway with an impatient sigh, the nurse shutting the door behind me with a bang, the air from the force ruffling my hair. I turn back to the door with a scowl. 

What was his name again? Gabriel?   
  
Hell, I guess it doesn’t even matter. He’s a prick either way.   
  
I wanted to stay with her. To make sure she’d be okay.  _I wouldn’t be a bother_ , I’d said. Still, that pretty boy nurse was having none of it. My teeth are gritted, my jaw flexed.   
  
Fine. Whatever. _I’m gone._  
  
I stroll out onto the campus quad, raising a hand to shield my eyes from the sun. It’s still cold, December arriving with a chill in the air and the promise of snow. The sun is trying it’s best, despite it all.   
  
I let out a breath, the air lightly fogging in front of me as I calm my temper and relax. It doesn’t take long to realize from a couple of strange looks i’m receiving that my shirt is torn, right down the front. I curse under my breath and zip up the front of my jacket. She must have ripped it when she fell. Not that that’s her fault.   
  
Guess I should go home and change.   
  
It only takes a couple of steps before I stop, second-guessing myself. Students are watching me as they walk past. A group of girls by the art building stairs are shooting me excited glances.   
  
They’re merely background noise. I barely even notice the attention anymore, unless I want to.   
  
I just can’t stop seeing it. Her falling clean out of her seat, hitting the ground before I can catch her. It plays over and over in my head. I didn’t know things were so bad with her… it makes my head pound to think about it.   
  
Once upon a time ago I would have refused to leave her, but now… shit, I guess I don’t have a right to that anymore.   
  
If only I could tell her how I really feel, instead of cracking jokes all the time like a goddamn idiot. But I won’t… our song is over, done and dusted, the melody faded. 

I don’t deserve her anyway. Maybe I never did.   
  
I run a hand through my hair before shoving my hands in my jacket pockets and walking in no particular direction. I just need to clear my head. My fingers itch for a cigarette, but I ignore it. Old habits die hard, I guess.   
  
Nathaniel’s been skulking around her a lot. I know he has a thing for her, he always has. And that kid she works with? Hugh?   
  
God, I’m terrible with names. Easier to give them all nicknames instead.  
  
_“Apron”_  will do.   
  
I think they’re just friends, but he sure spends a lot of time with her, even when his apron is off. He seems like a nice kid, but still… he can’t be her type now.  
  
_Can he?_  
  
I shake the thoughts from my head. I lost my right to be jealous when I gave up on her. When I didn’t fight hard enough for the best thing that had ever happened to me.  
  
_What a fool I was._  
  
She’s still beautiful. Her hair is longer, her eyes brighter. And she’s filled out in places I never expected. Guess I’ll have to find a new nickname for her, “ironing board” is a little outdated now.  
  
It was a stupid fucking nickname anyway. I should’ve just called her  _beautiful_ , that’s what she was.  
  
That’s what she is.   
  
I force my feet to move faster, having lingered too long already. I’ll only be restless if I go home, thinking of when she wakes up, wishing I was what she woke up to.   
  
So instead, i’ll find out who wrote this bloody note and put them back in their place. God knows she doesn’t need to deal with these bullshit rumors on top of everything else.   
  
I’ll need help. Someone who knows how to get information out of people. Someone who can scare the living daylights out of half the suckers on campus.   
  
My lips quirk at the corners as only one name comes to mind.   
  
_Rosalya._

 

 


	12. Happy Birthday | CandyxRayan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to our fave Professor ;)

I trudge across the quad, scarf pulled tight around my neck against the morning chill. It’s still early. Classes haven’t started, and there’s only a few students sprinkled here and there over campus.   
  
My breath mists in front of me as I let out a nervous breath. I know one person who will be ready for the day already. It’s almost too convenient that my first class of the day is with Professor Zaidi.   
  
Hugging the small box I’m carrying tighter against myself, I let a smile tug at my lips. I had convinced Rosalya to let me borrow her kitchen for the evening, staying up half the night to bake the mouth-watering creation I’m currently cradling in my arms.  
  
When Rosa asked me who the cake was for, I had to tell her. She would have  _never_  given up pestering me otherwise. At first, she was surprised. I could almost see the cogs turning in her head, trying to decipher  _why_  her best friend was making a birthday cake for  _her Professor._  
  
Eventually, something clicked. Fortunately for me, she said nothing. Only gave me that sly, little smile of hers and asked if I needed any help.   
  
When I returned home that evening, I was sprinkled in flour, smothered in sugar and drizzled in chocolate. I had only iced the cake this morning, having let it sit overnight, and once it was ready and packed up in it’s little blue box, I felt a surge of pride run through me.   
  
Taking care to keep the box steady in my arms, I push open the doors to the auditorium with my shoulder and step into the light of the classroom.   
  
Rayan is here already, as I knew he would be. He looks up from where he’s standing behind his desk, his eyes warm as they meet mine. For a split second a wash of panic overtakes me, and I wonder if this was a stupid idea.   
__  
What kind of person bakes a cake for their Professors birthday?  
  
“Candy?” His eyebrows dip a little, and his voice echoes through the deserted auditorium. “What are you doing here so early?”  
  
Slipping down the steps carefully, a smile quirks my lips and I inhale to keep my breath steady. _No, it’s not stupid_ , I think to myself. We had decided we wanted to be friends. We had agreed to get to know each other better.   
  
“A little birdie told me it’s a certain Professors birthday.”  
  
My voice is light, playful, losing the nervous edge. He’s not quick enough to hide the amused chuckle that escapes him.    
  
“And would this little birdie be a certain social media platform?”  
  
I give an innocent shrug, finally stepping onto the paneled floor of the bottom level, my shoes clicking against the ground. I set the box on the desk in front of him, and his eyes squint at me as he folds his arms over his chest in mock seriousness.   
  
“You know, I’m not supposed to have my students as Facebook friends. And now I know why.”  
  
“Oh come on,  _relax_  a little,” I tease, poking at his arms until he uncrosses them with a roll of his eyes. “You only turn thirty-four once.”  
  
“And it gets  _worse_ ,” His pinches the bridge of his nose, feigning embarrassment, though I see the smile peeking out from behind his hand.   
  
I make a face at him, and eventually he looks at me again. He gives a defeated sigh and shrugs his shoulders, lifting the top of the box in front of him. His face lights up in surprise.   
  
“ _Wow_. Did you make this?” He sounds truly impressed, and my pride bubbles a little, my lips lifting smugly at the corners.  _He better appreciate my hard work…_  
  
“With my own two hands.”  
  
He looks at me again, his eyes soft. Something about the way he holds my gaze makes my stomach flip nervously.   
  
“It looks amazing, Candy. Truly.”  
  
“Would you like thirty-four candles?” I sing, sidling up next to him to admire my creation one last time and provoking him further.  
  
“ _Don’t you dare_ ,” He looks up in horror, shaking his head in amusement once he realizes I’m only teasing. He laughs, and it suddenly occurs to me how much I love the sound. Deep, rich, warm. I could bask in the echo of it forever.   
  
But then the sound stops, and he looks at me a moment.   
  
“You have something…  _there,_ ” He brushes his thumb over the side of my face gently. When he pulls it away there’s a spot of frosting on the tip. I was in such a hurry to finish icing the cake this morning, I hadn’t even looked in the mirror before leaving my dormitory.   
  
My eyes snap to his again, and something in them has changed. There’s a roughness that wasn’t there before. An emotion I had seen in him a couple of times before, but couldn’t quite place.   
  
He takes a step, placing me between himself and the desk, and my breath stutters a little at his intensity.   
  
We agreed to be  _friends_. This seems a little closer then friends should be… though can’t say I don’t like it. My fingers itch to be closer to him.  _They always have…_  
  
I lean back against the desk, my hands finding balance on the wooden surface, until… my fingers land in something soft, and squishy. I gasp in utter horror, finding I’ve planted my hand right in the middle of the cake.  
  
The beautiful birthday cake I had spent  _hours_  beating, baking and perfecting, which is now a squashed, ruined mess of chocolate and frosting.   
  
I scramble to apologize, but Rayan only chuckles, his voice breathy and low.   
  
“You’re adorable. You know that?”   
  
His words rush over me and I bite down on my lip, hardly able to speak for fear of not being able to form the words. He takes my hand in his and raises it to his lips, and my heart thumps recklessly against my chest.   
  
Mesmerized, my eyes flicker over him as he licks the cake from my skin. His tongue, wet and hot, runs over my fingers, taking the tip in his mouth and sucking the frosting from them.   
  
My pulse is racing. My temperature soaring to dangerous heights. He lets my hand go and steps even closer, his eyes flicking over my lips and his hands on either side of the desk.  
  
_“Professor…”_  My voice is a breath, and his lips quirk. He knows  _exactly_  what he’s doing to me.   
  
In one swift movement he bends to take me behind the thighs, lifting and placing me on the desk in front of him. My hands are against his chest. Not to push him away, but to balance myself against the dizziness creeping into my head.   
  
_Friends indeed._  What kind of friend am I? Desperate for his hands on my skin, my thighs, between my legs…  
  
His lips hover over mine, his stuttered breath warm and jagged on my skin. He’s so close.  _So close…_  he could close that gap, only an inch between us, and I would give him everything.   
  
“I always wondered what you would would taste like.”  
  
His voice is a soft caress against my skin, and his lips brush against my cheek, feather-light.  _This is dangerous_. Classes start soon, but I can’t stop.  _I won’t stop him._  
  
His lips move lower, to my neck, and when they press against my skin I can’t stop the gasp that escapes me. His tongue flicks over my skin and I turn electric under his touch. I want more. I want him to  _do_  more.  _I want it all._  
  
An alarm goes off somewhere on the desk behind me and Rayan swears under his breath, stepping away and digging under scattered papers for his phone.   
  
He turns off the alarm with a tap on his phone screen, and when he speaks his voice is low, just a breath.  
  
“Class is about to start.”   
  
When my eyes meet his I see my own emotions reflected on them.  _Confusion, hesitation… longing._  
  
This is hardly the time or place for the type of thoughts I have of him, of this situation. We agreed to keep our friendship professional while on campus, and this morning has been  _anything but_. I slide of the desk and readjust myself, speaking lowly before I hurry to find myself a seat somewhere in the back of the room.   
  
“Happy Birthday, Rayan…”  
  
Class begins after the students have filed into the auditorium, and I’ve kept my face a perfect mask. There’s a smear of chocolate on the front of Rayans’ blazer, though you wouldn’t notice it unless you knew how it got there.   
  
His eyes meet mine a couple of times during the lecture, and I manage to keep myself together, despite the growing desperation for him that’s pitted itself inside of me. I now know he feels it too. And that being friends was possibly the  _dumbest excuse_  we could have ever come up with.   
  
_After class, I’ll show him exactly what kind of_ friend _I can be._  
  
Though I’m barely listening to a word he says, too distracted instead by the way his mouth moves, the way his fingers run over the edge of his desk, I keep myself composed until the end of class draws near.   
  
That is, until a student speaks up from the front of the class and my face breaks into a knowing grin. One that I simply couldn’t hide, even if I tried. I hide my hands under the desk, concealing any evidence.   
  
“Sir, what happened to your cake?” 


	13. CandyxLysander "Why are you crying?"

He’s back.

The two words echo in my head, over and over.

_He’s back. He’s back. He’s back._

Standing in the street, in front of his new apartment building, I let out a deep breath, letting the cool January winds claim it. He’d sent me his address this morning, asking me to come visit his new place after classes.

And I wanted to.  _So badly_. So why am I shaking so much? Why do my feet feel  _so_  heavy?

When I had seen him at Christmas, it was like a dream. One I expected to wake up from at any moment. When I didn’t, I realized it could be the end to this nightmare. The one where he was gone, alone,  _lost._

_The one where I was so empty._

I press the buzzer for his floor, and my heart stutters at the sound of his voice in the speaker, as if I’m still expecting none of this to be real. A figment of my imagination. A waking dream.

“Hi, come on up.”

In the past, I hadn’t let myself imagine what it would be like to see him again, to hear his voice, to touch his skin. Now, it’s all I ever think about.

Taking each step of the stairs, one by one, I clasp my hands together to keep them from shaking. When I knock on his door he opens it with a soft smile, and my stomach flips nervously. He looks good. Better than I ever remembered.

“It’s good to see you,” He kisses me on the cheek, his skin warm against mine. “Come in.”

Entering the apartment slowly, I take advantage of the time to look around. It looks so much like him. Elegant, but homely. Modern decor mixed in with the odd Victorian inspired pieces.

There are pictures everywhere; on the walls, over each surface. His parents, him and Iris on the farm, pictures of him and Leigh as boys.

_Memories._

A large wooden desk captures my attention, and as I move closer I stumble across a picture that is so hauntingly familiar, the memory hits me like a brick wall. The two of us, smiling into the camera, his arms around me and a corsage around my wrist. It was the night of our prom. We look so happy.  _We were happy._

“Why are you crying?”

Sniffling, I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. I hadn’t even noticed they were there until he said it.

“I still can’t believe you’re here,” My voice is small, and when I wrap my arms around myself the tears fall again. I could stop them, I suppose. But I decide not to.

Somehow, this feels like a trick. Like I’ll wake up and this will all be snatched away in an instant. If the tears are already there, then there’s no reason to cry again.  

“I can hardly believe it myself,” Lysander comes up behind me, his breath warm and soft on my hair. “Leaving the farm was… I suppose the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“And the first?” I turn to look at him, letting him circle his arms around me as my eyes meet green and gold, and I fall in exactly the same way I used to.

_“Leaving you.”_

“Lys, I-” His lips are on mine before I can even finish my sentence.  _What was I going to say anyway?_  I don’t remember now… all I know is the feel of his lips, and his fingers on the side of my face and the stuttered, dizzy beat of my heart in my chest.

My hands slide over his shoulders, fingers threading behind his neck, up into impossibly soft, silver hair.

“I’m not leaving,” He says softly between kisses, stroking my lower lip with his thumb. “Not again. I promise.”

Smiling against his lips, I let myself believe it for the first time. It’s a scary thing, to have hope. It can crush you in an instant, leaving you in pieces. But I’ve been afraid for too long.

We had broken up during a tragedy. Not because we didn’t love each other, but because we did. We didn’t want to break each others hearts, so we broke our own instead.

His shirt comes off first, and my fingers run over the ink covering his chest, curling over his arms. When my dress hits the ground his eyes devour me, remembering every freckle, every scar.

Pressed down into the softest sheets, skin on skin, all of the doubt finally melts away and I _know_  this isn’t a dream.

He’s real. He’s mine.  _And he always has been._


	14. Kiss Prompt | At a party for a bet | CandyxEvan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss Prompt | At a party for a bet | CandyxEvan

“Kentin. I dare you to kiss Alexy,” My grin is positively demonic as I hold the end of my straw between my teeth, chewing on the plastic lightly. Evan snorts from beside me, his body so close to mine I can feel the sound rumble through me, hearing the squeak of the leather seat as he shifts in amusement.   
  
Kentin and Evan are in town for the weekend, and have already roped Alexy and I into a night out. I swear these two have always lived their lives in the fast lane, wanting to be bigger and better than everyone around them.  
  
So we’ve found ourselves at the Moondance.  _For old times sake_ , Evan had said, though I don’t think he quite realizes that he’s the only one who ever had any fun here.   
  
But, if the Moondance is the price to pay for their company, then so be it. It’s not often we see the two of them these days, and between classes and work, I could use a night off.   
  
“I have a boyfriend!” Alexy complains loudly, looking less than impressed with his wrinkled nose and pouty mouth.   
  
I shrug, uncaring. “It’s a dare. You know what happens if you back out.”  
  
Glancing over the perfect row of a dozen shots in the middle of the table, Alexy mumbles something under his breath. Something I can’t hear over the thrum of the music, though I’m not so sure I want to.   
  
Kentin rolls his eyes in exasperation, ever the picture of impatience, before turning and planting his lips smack against Alexy’s for a brief few seconds.   
  
Neither of them look comfortable when they pull apart and I can’t help myself, a squeak of laughter escapes me. Evan joins in on the laughter, and Alexy narrows his eyes, the same color as his older brothers, at the two of us.   
  
It’s strange to have the two brothers here, Evan and Alexy, and not the third.   
  
Armin and I were inseparable in High School. Our relationship was so solid, it would be an understatement to say I was devastated when it ended.   
  
Things are different now.   
  
_I’m different now._  
  
Kentin turns his emerald eyes on me, irises blown wide and overflowing with revenge, and for a split second I’m a little scared.   
  
“I dare you to kiss Evan.”  
  
My stomach flips and my smile drops, but Evan only snorts and takes a swig from his bottle. “Like that’s a punishment.”  
  
Kentin narrows his eyes at his friend and the two of them square off, both as stubborn as the other.   
  
“Fine. With tongue.”  
  
“What are you, twelve?”  
  
“With tongue. For ONE minute.”  
  
Evan rolls his eyes and slides an arm over the back of the seat behind me, leaning back.   
  
_“Cake.”_  
  
His fingers press under my chin, still cold from the moisture on his beer bottle, and he tilts my face towards his. And then he kisses me.   
  
And my body ignites.   
  
_Oh my god, why haven’t I done this before?_  
  
He kisses like someone who  _knows how to_ , and my skin tingles, wondering what else he knows how to do. His fingers are cold but his mouth is warm, and when his tongue sweeps against mine my fingers dig into his thigh, feeling tight muscles tensing through his jeans.   
  
Fingers cupping my face, he deepens the kiss. He tastes like beer and mint and it makes my head spin. I can’t say that I’ve never thought about doing this before. He’s always been a temptation…  _the older brother_. He was always out of reach. Off-limits. _Forbidden._  
  
It’s only when someone clears their throat nearby that I stop, letting my eyes flit open and my mind clear from the daze it’s in. We’re so close that I’m practically in Evans lap, his fingers threaded through my long hair in a way that’s almost as incriminating as the dark smirk curling his lips.   
  
“Guys, come on. One minute is up, do we have to keep watching this?” Alexy complains, throwing in a mock gag for good measure.   
  
When I pull away I see Evans magenta eyes mirroring every emotion I’m having, and the  _one_ exact same thought.   
  
_I wanna do it again._  
  
“This is getting boring. We’re going to dance,” Kentin huffs and tosses back one of the shots from the table, and then a second before stopping and asking over his shoulder.   
  
“You two coming?”  
  
“We’ll be there soon,” Evan breathes, his hand lingering on the back of my neck while the other runs over my bare leg, sending electric tremors scattering over my skin.   
  
“You don’t want to dance?” I ask him, breathless, knowing that if we stay here alone together, we might very well end up doing something stupid.   
  
His eyes drift downwards, and a glance at his lap shows me,  _quite obviously_ , what the problem is. I bite down on my lip, my breath stuttering in my throat, and all of a sudden I’m rather fond of stupid ideas.   
  
I can only hope that he is too.   
  
“Wanna get out of here?” He asks finally, his eyes flicking over my lips like he’s about to devour me whole.  _And God, I want him to._  
  
“I thought you’d never ask.”


	15. Kiss Prompt | In the rain + confessing feelings | CandyxEvan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss Prompt | In the rain + confessing feelings | CandyxEvan

Rain is pouring. Heavy droplets of water cascading from the night sky, running down my face, trickling over both fabric and skin. I barely notice it as I blaze away from the gymnasium, as fast and far away from the building as I can put myself.

_Away from him._

I tried not to fall for him.  _I tried so goddamn hard_. And then he goes and kisses me, and I’ve fallen so deep I can’t seem to climb back out of this rabbit hole I’ve tumbled into.

“Eris, wait!”

When I turn, he’s there. Looking as painfully gorgeous as always. The glow of dim lamps warming his skin and the rain sticking his t-shirt against his body in a way that accentuates every perfectly curved muscle. Gritting my teeth, I shove away the feelings that pool low in my core at the mere sight of him.

“ _I can’t_. Evan, I can’t do this,” I splutter through heavy rain. Despite the sheets of water pouring down between us I can still make out every magenta speck in his eyes, every tortured emotion they hold.

_He tried not to fall too._

“Look, I know that little shit hurt you. But I’m not him,“ He growls, his eyes growing dark and fierce and his voice carrying past the thunder of falling water. He holds his hands up in front of him in utter defeat.

“I’m not him, Eris.”

“I know.”

Tears sting at my eyes, and I silently thank the rain for hiding them.  _No, he’s not him_. He’s not the one who broke my heart. And as much as I want to run from him, like I did with all the others, I don’t think I can.

He takes a step towards me, and I step back in tandem. Not because I don’t want him. _I want him so much it hurts_. So much that it twists my gut, and poisons my mind.

_So much that I think of nothing else._

When he steps towards me again, I don’t stop him. Instead, I close the gap between us and my fingers trail over his arms,  _needing_ to touch him, to act on the feelings that mirror his own. His arms slip around me, and I shiver under his touch.

_“I am so in love with you.”_

His voice is so low, so broken, and as soon as the words leave his mouth I know I’m done for. I feel the moment when my heart gives up, when it gives into him completely, despite my mind telling it  _no, no, no._

He leans in, so slowly, his nose brushing against mine and his breath stuttered and warm on my skin. Then he kisses me, and when he catches my lips with his, my chest almost bursts at the sensation, my very blood coming alive with how much I’ve needed him.

It’s not like the first time, minutes ago in the gym. That first kiss had been unexpected, had taken me completely by surprised, and Evan had earned himself a solid slap across the face for it.

This time is different.

Hands grasp the side of my face as he deepens the kiss,  _rough and wanting_ , and I’m so lost in him I can’t think straight, can’t think of anything at all except the feeling of his lips on mine and his body against me. When his tongue sweeps through my mouth a moan escapes me, the sound muffled against his lips, my fingers digging into warm skin and hard muscle.

We shouldn’t be doing this. Here, in the middle of campus. Sure, he’s not  _my_ teacher, but he still  _is_  one. And I’m a student. Never mind that we knew each other before all this.

_We shouldn’t be doing this._

But I can’t stop.


	16. Four Words | CandyxCastiel

_We need to talk._  
  
That’s how it started. Those four  _fucking_  words, stemmed from frustration, and exhaustion, and just missing him  _so damn much it hurt._  
  
And I don’t know what’s worse. That I had said them, or that he’d agreed.   
  
He was always in different places, different cities. Sometimes I wouldn’t hear from him for days on end, and as happy as I was for him and his band, it took a toll on us.   
  
_Anger, jealousy, doubt._  
  
When we did speak, we argued. When we saw each other, so rarely, we still argued. Until it was so sadistically normal that it almost became a chore to make that phone call, to send that text.    
  
Eventually there were no more of those lovely three words. _I love you. I miss you. I need you_. Only the dreaded  _‘we need to talk’_. And then, the worst four words of all.   
  
_We should break up_. 

*  
  
We’ve taken a couple of days to think things over, but the time doesn’t help. I’m still as torn as ever.  _I love him_. That’s the one thing I’ve always,  _always_  been sure of. But we’re hurting each other… we have been for far too long.   
  
So here I lay, staring up at the ceiling, counting the minutes and hours and seconds through the night until I can stop pretending that I’m going to get any sleep. I know what I have to do, it’s just… I don’t want to do it.   
  
My phone rings. Fluorescent screen lighting up the darkness of my room as I grab it off the nightstand.   
  
_It’s 2am, who the hell is calling me?_  
  
My heart stops when his name flashes on the screen and I hold my breath, tapping the green button to answer.   
  
“Castiel?”  
  
“Eris,” He says, and for a moment I panic. What if something’s happened?   
  
“We need to talk.  _Now_.”   
  
“But it’s-  
  
"Shut up, okay,” He slurs, and for the first time I realize there’s something off about him. “Just… just listen to me. Please.”  
  
I shut my mouth, but I’m hesitant. He sounds like he’s been drinking, something he doesn’t do often, and my better judgment is telling me we shouldn’t be having this conversation. That it will only make things worse. 

“Eris, I just… I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to lose you. _I can’t,”_ His voice is strange, slow and emotional, and my hands are shaking, my tongue sitting heavy in my mouth, uselessly weighed down with the words I can’t say.

 _I don’t want to lose you, either._  
  
“This is ridiculous… I love you. I  _fucking_  love you!” I can hear his tears even through the phone, and it breaks my heart. “Baby, why are we doing this to each other? Don’t do this to me.”  
  
“Cas… are you drunk?”  
  
“So what if I am? I still know what I want,” He says coldly, and it’s obvious now. He’s not just drunk, he’s  _obliterated_. “Can you say the same?”   
  
“I-”

I don’t know what to say, because  _yes_ , I do know what I want. I want him, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. But I know I can’t have him.  
  
“I’ll do anything. Quit the band, move to your town.  _Anything_. Just please…  _please_ … Eris, give this another chance.”  
  
His voice is so desperate that I want to. I want to give him, and us, every chance in the world. But I already have, and it didn’t work.  _It didn’t work._  
  
“I can’t. Castiel,  _you_  can’t,” I’m crying now. Warm tears spilling fast and hot down my skin. “You have a career, and a dream. I won’t let you throw that away for me.”  
  
Silence. One that seems to stretch on forever. One that makes me begin to doubt  _everything._  
  
“Why do you have to be right…” He says finally, his voice so small, so broken. “I don’t want you to be right. Not this time.”  
  
I take in a breath, letting it out as quietly as I can. This isn’t the time to be doing this. Steeling my voice, I speak into the phone.   
  
“Get some sleep, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.”  
  
A pause. A silence so loud that my ears ring and my heart skitters painfully in my chest.   
  
'Yeah. Night,“ He hangs up without another word. I already knew I wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. This certainly doesn’t change anything.   
  
The sun rises finally, after a night that seemed to stretch on forever, but I wait. Hesitating. He was drunk, he’s probably still paying for it.  
  
Heart pounding, pulse racing. I tap his name in my phone, letting out a shaky exhale as I press it to my ear.   
  
I’ve done this a million times before. Calls, video chats, text messages. I can’t let myself linger over the fact that this time could be the last.  
  
"Eris,” Castiel answers, his voice raspy and thick with sleep.   
  
“Hey, Cas,” I breathe, grateful that he answered at least. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Just peachy,’ He says with a groan that sounds anything but.

I take in a breath, preparing for the conversation ahead. "About last night-”  
  
“Look, I barely remember it, but I’m sure I made a complete ass of myself.”  
  
“You didn’t.”   
  
He lets out a laugh, but it’s hollow. No warmth, no love.  
  
“You were right, Eris. This isn’t working. It’s best if we just… end it.”  
  
I didn’t expect it to crush me as much as it does. It’s a good thing he continues speaking, because I wouldn’t know how to even if I tried.  
  
“The band and I are going overseas next week, I don’t know for how long,” He says, his voice heavy and deep. “I… I’m sorry it had to end this way.”  
  
My voice is so small when it comes out, so defeated that I hardly expect him to hear it at all.   
  
_“Me too…’_  
  
I can’t say anymore. I wish I could, but I just…  _can’t_. There’s a heavy sigh on his end, and a pause before he speaks again.  
  
"Goodbye, little girl.”  
  
The phone goes dead, silent, and a numbness creeps through my veins, replacing everything I’ve ever felt for him.   
  
_Goodbye._  
  
*  
  
It’s been six months. Whoever said it gets easier with time was a  _fucking_  liar.  
  
Because in reality, it gets worse.  _So much worse._    
  
And I’ve spent so many days waiting.   
  
Waiting, and hoping, and hating myself for it. Hating that I can’t let go. Letting the thought of him torture me over and over until I’m sick with my own overthinking.   
  
What if we had tried harder? What if I had stayed in town, made different choices, put him first? What then?  
  
The simple truth is that it might not have made any difference. Perhaps we were never meant to be. Never meant to put each other first. It was obvious we were never going to let the other do that.   
  
Still I wait, and it’s a dangerous thing. Waiting for the call that never comes. Waiting for the shock of red hair to show up at my door.   
  
_Waiting, waiting, waiting._  
  
I’ve never felt lonelier in my life.   
  
“Baby, come back to bed.”  
  
There’s someone else in my bed now. This is the second night we’ve spent together and I can’t even remember his name. Because no matter how much time passes, only one still haunts my mind.  
  
_Castiel._  
  
*  
Four years since I’ve been in this town, and when i’m wandering along the main strip, towards the Snake Room, I steel myself against the memories. Because everywhere I look, there are memories of him.   
  
It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’ve reconnected with old friends, and made new ones. I’ve excelled in my studies, and mapped out my career. And there’s someone else. Someone with golden hair and golden eyes who has sparked something in me that was dead and dormant for so long.   
  
I’m still scared… scared to let anyone in, knowing how much it hurts when it all goes wrong. But despite that, for the first time in a long time I’m excited for the future.   
  
_It doesn’t hurt anymore…_  
  
Until I see him in that bar, up on that stage, singing in that way that soothed my heart and ignited my soul all those years ago.   
  
_It doesn’t hurt…_  
  
Until his fingers are around my wrist in a crowd full of strangers, and he’s looking at me through eyes that are so distant, so cold, they chill me down to the bone.   
  
_It doesn’t hurt…_  
  
Until I’m back in my dorm room, replaying every look,  _every word_ , over and over until my heart is split and my eyes are swollen and my face is stained with heartbroken tears.   
  
And it hurts.  
  
_It still hurts._


	17. How it should have ended (Episode 10) Candy/Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it should have ended (Episode 10) Candy/Castiel

Castiel yanks the door open and I freeze, as still and silent as the fifteen girls staring back at us, wide-eyed.   
  
“Castiel…” My voice comes out low, more a warning than anything else.   
  
“Excitement’s what you want?” He growls at the group, his voice rough. “Here you go!”  
  
He takes my face in his hands, so gently despite the anger I can feel falling off of him in waves, and he kisses me. My eyes widen, barely having time to register what he’s doing before he pulls back and slams the door shut, ignoring the crushed and disbelieving stares from the girls outside.   
  
My mouth drops and I stand there, stunned, my breath shallow and quick as he beats a fist against the back of the door. There’s no voices anymore. No whispers or giggles. I think I might have heard a sob or two, but that’s about it.   
  
Exhaling slowly, my mind races. I had wanted him to kiss me, hadn’t I? Before we were interrupted, we were so close, and  _I wanted it._  
  
Just… not like that.   
  
“I’m sorry…” His back is to me, and his voice is low. Something about the way he says this makes me pause. Makes me put a hand over his fist to lower it from the door, and look up at him under dark lashes.   
  
“So do it again,” I whisper, trailing my fingers up his arm and stepping closer, feeling the hard muscles of his body tense under my touch. “Properly this time.”   
  
His lips quirk as his stormy eyes slide over me. He doesn’t have to be told twice. 

Slipping his arms around me, he leans down and kisses me again and his anger melts away, replaced instead by a longing so intense that it matches my own. He flips and pins me against the door, and I don’t care if there’s anyone outside anymore. All I care about is the feel of his lips and the warmth of his body against mine.   
  
The leather of his glove is coarse on my skin and he removes it, tossing it onto my bed. It’s only a second later that he follows, sitting on the edge of my bed and pulling me on top of him, my legs straddled on either side of his waist.   
  
My entire body warms as he kisses me harder, one hand cupping the back of my head while the other steadies me around the waist. I nip his bottom lip and he groans against me, grinding his hips up to meet mine, and I’m so desperate for the friction of his body I whimper.  
  
In one move he flips me onto my back, pinning my hands above my head. His grip is as solid as steel as his lips trail kisses over my jaw, down my throat, and a low moan escapes me. My body tingles under his touch and the weight of him over me, the pulsing between my legs almost unbearable.   
  
Threading my hands through his hair, I buck my hips against his and he chuckles darkly against my skin, answering my desperate need for him by positioning himself between my thighs and grinding down on me, his lips burning a hot trail over my neck. 

My hand instinctively shoots for the top of his jeans, lazily caressing the skin under his t-shirt, earning a groan of approval from him and a shiver through his skin.    
  
“I fucking missed you,” He breathes against my lips as he comes back up, kissing me deep and hard. And then he pulls back, hovering over me, that unmistakable glint of mischief in his eyes.  
  
“So, about that shower?” 


	18. How it should have ended (Episode 10) Candy/Nathaniel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it should have ended (Episode 10) Candy/Nathaniel

I drag my feet through the dorm lobby, heading to my room. Sniffling quietly through the cold, it’s a struggle to keep my eyes open. I’d long reached the end of my tether. With this day.  _With everything._  
  
 _One foot in front of the other. That’s it._  My body is heavy with exhaustion and grief. What had happened today was… unthinkable. My heart ached for Rosalya and Leigh. I could only imagine what they were going through, and even the thought of that tore my heart in two.  
  
 _And Alexy…_  
  
Rosa said horrible things. Things you should never say to a friend. But she was hurting. Her heart had broken. Nothing could ever make it right, and in a way, I suppose I understand.   
  
The elevator dings and opens on my floor, and I step into the darkness of the corridor, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. I glance at my phone, the glare of the fluorescent screen almost blinding. It’s well past midnight.  _How long was I waiting for that bus?_  
  
There are a few missed calls and unopened messages. My eyes are blurred, so heavy with exhaustion that I can’t even make out who they’re from. I slip the device back into my handbag. My only thoughts revolve around making it past the last few meters to my room and collapsing into bed.   
  


_Only a few more steps…_

  
I stop short of my door, noticing the darkened figure sitting next to it, leaning back against the wall with his long legs stretched out in front of him. His eyes are closed. His chest moving up and down in short, gentle breaths.   
  
“Nath?” My voice is quiet, and raspy from little use, but he stirs when I approach.  
  
“Candy… where were you?” He asks, his voice thick with sleep as he pushes himself up and brushes his hands over his jacket. “I called you a dozen times, I thought…”  
  
He stops when he sees my face, and at the sight of his concern I crumble, the weight of the day becoming too much. He shoots forward before my knees can buckle under me, slipping an arm around my waist to hold me against him while he rummages through my handbag for the keys to my room. I bite my lip between my teeth, attempting to stifle the sobs, but my body shakes with them anyway.   
  
Once through the door, Nath drops my handbag to the floor and wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight against him and holding me as the sobs rack my body again and again. I let myself lean into him, my hands fisted in his jacket at the sides.   
  
To think that last night I was also in his arms, body to body, his lips on mine. I had barely thought about it at all during this awful day.   
  


“What happened?” He asks, his breath warm against my hair. “Your friend, Chani, told me not to worry, but…”

When I shake my head, signalling that I don’t want to talk about it, he lets out a soft sigh, taking my face between his hands and leaning his forehead against mine.   
  
“At least tell me… did anyone hurt you?”  
  
I shake my head again, letting out a soft.  _“No.”_

 

He breathes in relief, his golden eyes softening. My eyes drop, so tired, as he shrugs off his jacket and kicks off his shoes, before helping me do the same.

  
My phone  _dings_  and I inch towards my bag to dig it out, looking over the notification on the screen anxiously. 

**Alexy has left the group, The Terrific Trio.**

My heart drops, and a small hiccup escapes me. I knew Alexy was upset by Rosa’s words, but surely it was something we could all work out together. 

And then the phone  _dings_  again.

**Rosalya has left the group, The Terrific Trio.**

A small, broken nose escapes, and I cover my mouth with a hand. Nath moves beside me, glancing at the phone as he removes it from my grasp and places it on the bedside table. 

He lifts the covers to my bed, guiding me in before he slides in beside me, taking me in his arms once more. I’ve barely buried myself against his chest, my hands clutched over my face, before I break down again. 

“Shhh, I’ve got you,” He whispers gently against my hair, running his fingers up and down my back to soothe me. I barely notice it as the sobs spiral me into exhaustion, but it helps. His familiar scent, the warmth of his body. It all helps. 

I don’t know how long it takes, but eventually I calm, settling against him with my hands fisted in the front of his t-shirt and my legs tangled between his. 

“Try to get some sleep,” He says softly, brushing his lips over the side of my face.

My heart is broken. My body is shattered. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or a week, or even a year from now. I don’t know if my best friends will ever be the same.

All I know is this. 

I’m glad he’s here. 


	19. How it should have ended (Episode 10) Candy/Rayan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it should have ended (Episode 10) Candy/Rayan

Rayan grabs me by the wrist and hits the light switch, plunging us into darkness. My pulse quickens under his touch, heart racing as he leans his body into mine, pushing me against the wall next to the door.  
  
“Really discreet, Rayan,” I whisper through the darkness, praying he can’t hear how uneven my breath is. “Pressed up against the wall? It’s a little suspicious, don’t you think?”    
  
He lets out a quiet laugh, his breath warm on my face, and my skin tingles.  
  
“And if the admin director walks in again,” I add, trying to clear my head and focus on the situation. “What will your excuse be next time?”  
  
“And yours?” He asks, his amusement clear in his voice. “I’m sure you look just as guilty as I do.”   
  
I bite down on my lip to stifle my laughter, and for a fraction of a second I forget that he’s my teacher. I forget that we’re both pressed together in the dark, on the very campus we’re both a part of. I forget that we’ve already gone too far. That we’ve been walking the path between right and wrong for far too long.   
  
I had been too busy focused on him. On how I feel around him, on the thoughts I have about him. I’ve barely thought until now about the kind of consequences a situation like this could have.   
  
“Shhh,” Rayan presses a finger against my lips, prompting me to be quiet, and I freeze. A shadow passes under the door, and Rayan presses closer against me, forcing me further into the shadows.   
  
My breath comes out hard and fast, and I try to quiet it. Squeezing my eyes shut, I desperately try to block it all out. The warmth of his body against mine. The feeling of his chest moving up and down, pressed so close to me that my skin starts to chafe under my clothes. His finger on my lip, slowly beginning to move against my skin and set every hair on my body standing on end.   
  
A heat throbs low in my core, pulsing between my legs, and I want  _more_. I want to be closer. I want more of this dark, forbidden thing.   
  
The footsteps start to move, pacing further and further away, and then the light under the door goes out, leaving nothing more.   
  
I let out the breath I’d been holding in, hearing Rayan exhale shakily too. The threat of being caught is gone, for now, though Rayan doesn’t move an inch.   
  
My heart thunders in my ears, as hard and fast as it beats in my chest. Breathing in and out in quick, shallow bursts, I rubs my thighs together, desperate for any kind of friction between them.   
  
Rayan says nothing as his fingers intertwine with mine, and I let out a shaky breath, squeezing tightly. His hand lingers on my face, his thumb running over my bottom lip, so slowly. And then he leans forward, pressing his lips to mine, and I shatter.   
  
My body turns electric under his touch, and I let out a soft moan as his lips devour me, becoming more and more desperate with every second that passes. He bends to take me under the thighs, lifting and pressing me against the wall as my legs clasp around his waist, my fingers running through his dark hair.    
  
And my mind empties completely. All fear of regrets and consequences giving way to the way he’s kissing me, the way his hands squeeze my ass as he presses tighter against me. And I can’t help myself, a low groan slips past my lips.   
  
“Shh, baby, be quiet,” He whispers against my mouth, grinding harder between my thighs as he kisses me hungrily, every bit as aware as I am that we have very little time together.   
  
My whimper catches in my throat this time, my fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough to leave marks. His lips slow against mine, kissing softly until he finally stops, pressing his forefinger between his lips and mine.   
  
“I don’t want to leave you. But I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t,” His voice is rough, and I hear all the words behind it that he hasn’t said.   
  
 _I’m afraid too, but I want to…_  
  
“Rayan…” I exhale a shaky breath.  _I don’t want this to end. It can’t end. Not now._    
  
He guides me back to my feet, an arm still around my waist and his forehead pressed against mine. I can’t see his eyes through the dark, but I can imagine well enough what they look like. The sternness that has replaced the raw hunger.   
  
“We crossed a line, you know that. And I don’t know if…” He trails off, letting out a sharp breath before his demeanor changes entirely.   
  
“We’d better get out of here before the admin director comes to check on me again.”  
  
“O-okay…”  
  
He pulls away from me, and I immediately miss his warmth as he shuffles through his papers and picks up everything he needs from the table.   
  
“Let’s go,” He says, taking my hand as we tip-toe from the room and out to the entrance of the Art Building.   
  
Noticing a few students heading towards the dormitory building, and a silhouette nearby that looks suspiciously like the admin director, we quickly say goodbye before anyone has the chance to see us.   
  
As I head back to my dorm I look back, just once, to find his bright green eyes watching me too. I give him a sheepish smile before turning back and dragging myself away from him, the butterflies in my stomach like a hurricane.   
  
I know what we did was wrong. The kind of relationship we have together could cost me my degree, and him his job.   
  
And still I’d risk it all. For him. 


	20. CandyxNathaniel | Episode 11

Nathaniel wakes with a heaving gasp of air, and I’m jolted into consciousness by the feeling of him bolting upright on the mattress.  
  
“Nath?” I lift my head, blinking, still half asleep. As my eyes adjust to the gloomy, morning light, they’re drawn to the the sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way his fists are curled tightly at his sides.  
  
“I’m okay,” His voice is rough as it wavers, sounding anything but. “Just a bad dream.”  
  
He falls back against the pillows next to me, a hand over his eyes as if to cover them from the light. But I think it’s much more than that. A way to block out the world a little longer.   
  
I lay a hand on his chest, fingers trailing over and entwining themselves in cotton fabric.   
  
“Do you have them often?” I ask softly, moving closer towards the warmth of his body and curling against him.   
  
A nod, and then a long exhale.   
  
“Everything is so fucked up,” His voice slips past his lips in a whisper, and my heart tightens in my chest.   
  
After what he told me last night, the truth that had finally come out about the drugs, and the violence and the blackmail, my heart aches for him. He had made stupid decisions. Stupid,  _awful_  decisions. But he had been young and desperate, and in a twisted kind of way… I understand.   
  
“We’ll fix it,” I whisper through the early morning light, placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder. “You’re not alone, Nath.”  
  
He looks at me now, fierce, golden eyes burning into mine, and my pulse quickens. When his fingers thread through my hair and he leans over to place his lips on mine, a contented sigh escapes me, my eyes fluttering closed.   
  
And I can’t stop myself. The more he kisses me, his lips devouring mine with a hunger that matches my own, the more my body comes alive beneath his. He pulls his shirt over his head and his mouth comes down on my neck, licking, sucking, biting as his fingers work on the button to my leather pants with an increasing desperation, pulling them half down before I use my feet to kick them all the way off.   
  
My shirt is unbuttoned next, plaid fabric pulled aside to reveal a black, lace bra. He growls in approval at the choice, peppering kisses over my chest, my stomach, his blonde hair tickling as it falls over my skin .  
  
His lips trail down to my panties, so slowly, and he rips them down, his eyes holding mine as he tears the fabric off my legs and throws them halfway across the room. He comes back up to snatch my lips with his, kissing me deep and long as he unbuttons his jeans, releasing himself, already hard, from the fabric.   
  
When he positions himself between my thighs and slides inside me I bite back a moan, stifling the sounds his movements are drawing from me with kisses against his neck, his shoulder, getting lost in the weight of his body and the warmth of his skin on mine.   
  
He buries his face in my neck, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps and he pumps into me hard and slow, and I feel the tension building and warming in my core. This is more than just some fuck to him. I can feel the need for closeness radiating from him. The desperation to know that he’s truly not alone.   
  
Taking his face in my hands, I kiss him hard, whispering his name against his lips as he deepens his thrusts, the sound of shuddering breaths and skin on skin echoing through the room.   
  
My fingers thread through soft, golden hair, holding him close as my hips match his pace,  moving with him over and over.   
  
 _“Nath, ahh, don’t stop…”_  My voice is a breath, eyes squeezing shut as a warmth spreads through my body, erupting from my core down through my legs and to my toes. A stuttered moan escapes me, fingertips digging into his broad shoulders and thighs tightening around his hips as my orgasm crashes through me in wave after wave of heated bliss.   
  
He comes undone a moment later, his head falling against my shoulder as he tenses, growling against my skin as his climax hits him hard and then ebbs just as fast.   
  
When he falls back against the pillows he circles his arms around my shoulders and pulls me with him, breathing fast and heavy.   
  
“I’m sorry, I just… needed to feel you,” He says quietly after a few moments, his throat bobbing as he swallows thickly.   
  
“You don’t have to explain,” I tilt my head, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw and letting him pull me close. _I wanted it too._  
  
We stay like that for a long while. A comfortable silence in each others arms.   
  
“What time is it,” I ask eventually, and he fumbles as he picks my phone up off the night stand, squinting against the fluorescent light.   
  
“Almost seven,” He stops, hesitating as his body tenses against mine. “You have a message.”  
  
I take the phone he pushes into my hands, swiping across the screen to open the message. The one that Nath has already seen. My stomach drops and my mouth parts in horror. It’s from Castiel.  
  
 ** _I’m sorry about earlier. Can I see you tomorrow?_**  
  
I pull away from Nath and bend my legs in front of me, my eyes flicking over his features and the hurt he’s trying not to let show.   
  
“Nath…”  
  
Trailing off, I glance over the message again.  _Damn you, Castiel._  
  
“I have to know. Do you…” Nath stops, a muscle feathering in his jaw as he clenches it tight. As if the words hurt him too much to say out loud. So I say them for him.  
  
“Do I still love him?”  
  
He turns his golden eyes on me, and I fracture under his gaze. I know what I have to do. There’s no other explanation I can give him, besides the truth. He deserves that much.   
  
“Since we’re being honest with each other, there’s something I should tell you,” My voice is low, and so small. There’s no way to say this without hurting him, and that’s the part I dread most.   
  
“Castiel invited me to his apartment last night,” I admit, my eyes never leaving his. “I was upset, confused. I thought you didn’t want me. And… I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was too late.”  
  
Nath’s lips press into a tight line, and he looks anywhere but at me, his expression as cold as steel and stone. I feel lower than low, and although I didn’t do anything wrong, I know I shouldn’t have gone to Castiel’s apartment in the first place.   
  
“It’s not what you think,” I reach out a hand, but stop short of him, letting it fall on top of the comforter instead. “He tried, but I… I couldn’t do it. I don’t want anyone but you.”   
  
He lets out a breath, but there’s still something on his face that I can’t quite decipher. Relief, sure. But also something dark. A kind of rage.   
  
“He tried?” Nath looks at me now, his eyes dark and full of anger. My mind rewinds to that night in the alley. To the two low-lives who had harassed me before Nathaniel had intervened, and stirred my life up like a hurricane.   
  
“Not like that,” I assure him quickly, biting on my bottom lip anxiously. “We have a history, and… I know that’s no excuse, but for a long time… we were the most important thing in each other’s lives.”  
  
Nath inhales sharply, nostrils flaring with emotion. I don’t know what else to say to make this better. My words are coming out all wrong, making the situation worse instead of improving what little chance I have to fix this.   
  
So instead, I settle on another truth.   
  
“Nath, I… I’m in love with you,” The words slip out before I can think straight, and my hands wring nervously in front of me. My breathing slows, but my heart speeds up. I’ve only ever said those words to one other person in my life, and he not only broke my heart… he destroyed it.  
  
And somehow, miraculously, Nathaniel was the one to put it back together again.   
  
This love is terrifying, but it has consumed me. I remember the pain love brings, so vividly, and seeing Castiel never fails to remind me of that. Things would never be the same between us, even if that was what I wanted.   
  
Biting down on my bottom, I will the tears building in my eyes not to fall. Nath pushes himself up and runs his fingers over the side of my face, golden eyes softening as they flick over my features, and the ghost of a smile plays on the corners of his scarred lips.   
  
“You have no idea how long I’ve loved you.”  
  
He kisses me before I fall apart, and there are so many emotions behind it, I can’t pick out a single one. It’s intense, needy, fragile. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, mimicking my own heart and the longing that lays there.  
  
To be safe. To be wanted, and loved.  _Together, we will be._  
  
“Don’t leave me,” My voice breaks, a whisper against his lips, and he touches his forehead to mine, the glint of a promise in his eyes.  
  
“Never.” 


End file.
